I’ve decided to add a little to my Manscaping 101 beginner’s course with some advanced techniques. If you follow the beginner’s course, you’ll absolutely be presentable – if you want to go extra awesome, I’ve got some more intricate pointers…
I covered the uni-brow and the bushy eyebrow in 101. For 202, we get a little more detailed. This only takes a matter of an additional 20-30 seconds per eyebrow, but makes a huge impact in overall fit and finish. Once you’ve hacked off the uni-brow, you’re left with two bushy tufts right at the bridge of your nose. Those tufts should be carefully be brought into submission. This isn’t quite brain surgery, but it’s a delicate operation – this is no place for a nervous person. If you happen to be a perpetual shaker, skip this step, you’re liable to poke a hole in your brain. The goal is to neatly bring down said tufts to a managable length. Do NOT snip too close! You don’t want to look like you gave your eyebrows a flat-top. Though you may have been a Marine, your eyebrows are just eyebrows. High and tight won’t make you look good when it comes to the brows, bro. Let’s look at an example of what’s bad:
To clean the rough patches just takes a couple of carefully placed snips. They don’t have to be perfect either, because we’re men, but don’t be like Jude.
Brad will take us home with the proper trimmage:
We’ll give Mr. Pitt a pass on the fact that he missed his chin when shaving on this particular morning – that shit happens to the best of us Brad (not really brother, but whatever). Technically, zoom in… His left eye (on the right side of the picture) is borderline – his right eye (on the left of the photo) is correct.
Ok, so that takes care of the eyes. Now let’s look at sideburns. Sideburns can get wild in a hurry and should always be kept at a managable length – if they get the least bit bushy they’ll make you look like you don’t give a shit in a hurry. For length I have one simple rule: If married, defer to the wife for sideburn length. The idea is that you would like for her to grab a hold of those bad boys like she means it (if they weren’t trimmed too short of course) – so make ’em a length she likes. My wife likes mine long (just above the bottom of the ear lobe), so that’s what she gets. I like them a little shorter personally, but my wife’s gotta look at me and love me through all of my real faults, so I might as well make it as easy as possible for her. To keep the actual hair short enough that it doesn’t get bushy, I use my clippers with a #3 guard setting – just be careful to fade it as you get lose to the ear – you don’t want a ridge from your head of hair to your sideburn. Try to keep the sideburns classy fellas, there’s nothing technically wrong with looking like a human cartoon character, if that’s what you want, but let’s keep it to a minimum unless you draw a seven figure salary, eh? If you want a laugh, Google sideburns under “images”. WOOF!
For now that’ll do. I’ll put together a 303 later on – any recommendations from the ladies on this matter would be helpful…
This shouldn’t come as too much of a shock, but I’m a huge Lance fan… I’ll tell you, seeing all of the pictures that Matt took at the 2004 TdF, I wouldn’t mind putting this on the vacation list for when the girls are teenagers (or maybe Mrs. BgddyJim and I fly solo and send the kids up to Grandma’s house – Now there’s an idea).
I had something very odd happen today. I had every intention of putting in 25 miles this afternoon – even as of clipping in my second shoe!
Alas, my legs were feeling absolutely wrecked after a quarter of a mile. This is normally about the time I start mashing the pedals, miles (and legs) be damned…but that just didn’t feel like the bright thing to do. The wind had picked up considerably, contrasted with this morning where you could have thrown up dandilion fluff and had it come straight down. When taking both factors into account, balanced against yesterday’s effort, going hard again tonight just didn’t seem wise.
I held my speed way down – 16.8 mph to be exact and cut my route down to 16 miles. Come to think about it, that’s the slowest I’ve ever ridden that bike.
I took it really easy and just enjoyed the sweet spring smells… Of cow poo fertilizer, dear God, the farmers were out spraying the fields and it was all kinds of gnarly for a couple of miles – ahh, the sweet smell of home (one of my friends from grade school lived on a dairy farm, we used to ride the three miles to his house and play in the hay barn and help milk the cows).
In any event, I had a nice, slow ride and arrived home with fresher legs than when I left (thank you fast cadence).
So I’ll have to see how that affects my standing in my cycling challenge – I have a solid 7th place in points and I’ve got tomorrow, but I just didn’t have that extra nine in me today.
So I’m sticking with wise, in lieu of a little lazy, with my course selection and pace this evening.