I’ve decided to add a little to my Manscaping 101 beginner’s course with some advanced techniques. If you follow the beginner’s course, you’ll absolutely be presentable – if you want to go extra awesome, I’ve got some more intricate pointers…
I covered the uni-brow and the bushy eyebrow in 101. For 202, we get a little more detailed. This only takes a matter of an additional 20-30 seconds per eyebrow, but makes a huge impact in overall fit and finish. Once you’ve hacked off the uni-brow, you’re left with two bushy tufts right at the bridge of your nose. Those tufts should be carefully be brought into submission. This isn’t quite brain surgery, but it’s a delicate operation – this is no place for a nervous person. If you happen to be a perpetual shaker, skip this step, you’re liable to poke a hole in your brain. The goal is to neatly bring down said tufts to a managable length. Do NOT snip too close! You don’t want to look like you gave your eyebrows a flat-top. Though you may have been a Marine, your eyebrows are just eyebrows. High and tight won’t make you look good when it comes to the brows, bro. Let’s look at an example of what’s bad:
To clean the rough patches just takes a couple of carefully placed snips. They don’t have to be perfect either, because we’re men, but don’t be like Jude.
Brad will take us home with the proper trimmage:
We’ll give Mr. Pitt a pass on the fact that he missed his chin when shaving on this particular morning – that shit happens to the best of us Brad (not really brother, but whatever). Technically, zoom in… His left eye (on the right side of the picture) is borderline – his right eye (on the left of the photo) is correct.
Ok, so that takes care of the eyes. Now let’s look at sideburns. Sideburns can get wild in a hurry and should always be kept at a managable length – if they get the least bit bushy they’ll make you look like you don’t give a shit in a hurry. For length I have one simple rule: If married, defer to the wife for sideburn length. The idea is that you would like for her to grab a hold of those bad boys like she means it (if they weren’t trimmed too short of course) – so make ’em a length she likes. My wife likes mine long (just above the bottom of the ear lobe), so that’s what she gets. I like them a little shorter personally, but my wife’s gotta look at me and love me through all of my real faults, so I might as well make it as easy as possible for her. To keep the actual hair short enough that it doesn’t get bushy, I use my clippers with a #3 guard setting – just be careful to fade it as you get lose to the ear – you don’t want a ridge from your head of hair to your sideburn. Try to keep the sideburns classy fellas, there’s nothing technically wrong with looking like a human cartoon character, if that’s what you want, but let’s keep it to a minimum unless you draw a seven figure salary, eh? If you want a laugh, Google sideburns under “images”. WOOF!
For now that’ll do. I’ll put together a 303 later on – any recommendations from the ladies on this matter would be helpful…