Manscaping 202

I’ve decided to add a little to my Manscaping 101 beginner’s course with some advanced techniques.  If you follow the beginner’s course, you’ll absolutely be presentable – if you want to go extra awesome, I’ve got some more intricate pointers…

I covered the uni-brow and the bushy eyebrow in 101.  For 202, we get a little more detailed.  This only takes a matter of an additional 20-30 seconds per eyebrow, but makes a huge impact in overall fit and finish.  Once you’ve hacked off the uni-brow, you’re left with two bushy tufts right at the bridge of your nose.  Those tufts should be carefully be brought into submission.  This isn’t quite brain surgery, but it’s a delicate operation – this is no place for a nervous person.  If you happen to be a perpetual shaker, skip this step, you’re liable to poke a hole in your brain.  The goal is to neatly bring down said tufts to a managable length.  Do NOT snip too close!  You don’t want to look like you gave your eyebrows a flat-top.  Though you may have been a Marine, your eyebrows are just eyebrows.  High and tight won’t make you look good when it comes to the brows, bro.  Let’s look at an example of what’s bad:

To clean the rough patches just takes a couple of carefully placed snips.  They don’t have to be perfect either, because we’re men, but don’t be like Jude.

Brad will take us home with the proper trimmage:

We’ll give Mr. Pitt a pass on the fact that he missed his chin when shaving on this particular morning – that shit happens to the best of us Brad (not really brother, but whatever).  Technically, zoom in…  His left eye (on the right side of the picture) is borderline – his right eye (on the left of the photo) is correct.

Ok, so that takes care of the eyes.  Now let’s look at sideburns.  Sideburns can get wild in a hurry and should always be kept at a managable length – if they get the least bit bushy they’ll make you look like you don’t give a shit in a hurry.  For length I have one simple rule:  If married, defer to the wife for sideburn length.  The idea is that you would like for her to grab a hold of those bad boys like she means it (if they weren’t trimmed too short of course) – so make ’em a length she likes.  My wife likes mine long (just above the bottom of the ear lobe), so that’s what she gets.  I like them a little shorter personally, but my wife’s gotta look at me and love me through all of my real faults, so I might as well make it as easy as possible for her.  To keep the actual hair short enough that it doesn’t get bushy, I use my clippers with a #3 guard setting – just be careful to fade it as you get lose to the ear – you don’t want a ridge from your head of hair to your sideburn.  Try to keep the sideburns classy fellas, there’s nothing technically wrong with looking like a human cartoon character, if that’s what you want, but let’s keep it to a minimum unless you draw a seven figure salary, eh?  If you want a laugh, Google sideburns under “images”.  WOOF!

For now that’ll do.  I’ll put together a 303 later on – any recommendations from the ladies on this matter would be helpful…