Manscaping 303 – The Shave

I would love for this to be a cool stuck on myself post, but it won’t be – I come from good genes, kind of…  This doesn’t change the fact that I’d be pushing 215 with love handles the size of saddle bags had it not been for running, riding and swimming.  I ran for years to fix the weight and I ride to take that to the next level, but that doesn’t help with proper manscaping – specifically in Manscaping 303, the skin.  Too much sun causes wrinkles, shaving with a razor that’s too dull causes ingrown hairs and pimples.  This isn’t exactly rocket science.  After all, what good is being in unbelievable shape if you’re scruffy lookin’?

I do have a secret to my devilishly handsome looks.  My wife is a Mary Kay Consultant and I use their men’s moisturizer with sunscreen daily (spf 25).  I haven’t had a sunburned beak since.  I also pass on the shaving cream and use their Timewise 3 in 1 cleansing soap to shave with.  It used to be that I’d end up with a pimple at least once every couple of weeks, even into my late 30’s.  Once I switched to the soap for shaving and using the moisturizer afterwards, that stopped.  Fellow men, check that stuff out.  It’s not cheap, but it’s not ridiculous either – and the stuff is top shelf.  If you don’t know how to find a local consultant, go here (they don’t sell at a store, you’ll have your stuff delivered to you by your rep)

I do still have difficulty with changing my razors at the proper time because I’m cheap when it comes to almost everything except bikes and running.  I can remember when a ten pack of razors cost $5.  I haven’t bought them in years, but if I remember correctly, they’re about $12 for four now.  They’re supposed to last five weeks each (which is a lot better than the one week of old), but the reality is that they don’t, unless you’ve got one of those wispy peach fuzz beards.  I’m not so blessed, I have a five-o’clock shadow at 1:30, but I still try to stretch four weeks out of a razor and sometimes that’s just too much.

Now, having had a modeling career for about ten minutes when I was a much younger fellow (technically I’d be far better off trying to get back into it again now that I’m more seasoned) I learned a lot of really good tips about shaving.  The first tip is to warm up the whiskers prior to shaving.  The proper way is a steamed towel, but let’s not be silly, most of us aren’t going to bother (I surely don’t).  Hot water is just fine, but you really have to be careful to keep it reasonable – too hot and you damage the blood vessels that feed the skin.  This is important, and what will eventually leave you with those red vessels showing through your skin (amongst other things).  I use three splashes, minimum, then apply soap.  Another no-no when shaving is going against the grain.  This is where that dull razor and the pimples come in.  If you use a dull razor to cut against the grain, you’ll end up with an ingrown hair, and a pimple.  Fellas, there are two options here.  Don’t go against the grain or don’t use a dull razor.  I’m still an against the grain kinda guy – especially when it comes to my neck.  Truth is, it’s the only way to get the neck and underside of the chin really smooth.  It is what it is.  Finally, when you’re done, rinse with cool water to close your pores back up.

And a final note to all the teenagers (and a few adults):  If you have a partial beard, one of those patchy things that doesn’t fill in right or all the way, yeah you can’t make that look good.  Shave.  Accept it, embrace it, slobber on its face if you gotta, just shave.  If you don’t want to heed this advice and choose to look like a slacker, don’t complain when people view you that way.  How can you possibly take someone who looks like Shaggy seriously?

Just sayin’.

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