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Why I Drink Soda

August 2012
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This is going to be an interesting rant before long… Enjoy (or not).

I’ve downed some sodas in my day. In my early teens I’d get together with my buddies and we would drink a box of Mountain Dew each (I think they were eight packs but I can’t remember for sure – glass bottles!) just to get the rush. When Jolt Cola came out, we switched to that. We were active enough that we were all skinny as rails.

Fast-forward to just last year, I was still drinking four or five 2-Liter bottles of Coke a week when I decided to kick the pop so I could Tri better. I still partake in a Coke from time to time and I’m a sucker for Sierra Mist or 7-Up on pizza Wednesday, the only regular day of the week that we have soda in the house.

I don’t feel any different now that I’ve kicked it, no better, no worse. I am 9 pounds lighter, and that makes all the difference in the world, especially on the hills – and that’s why I quit. Being 6′ tall, the difference between 155 and 165 didn’t make me fat, but I had a little gut and that’s all but gone. History time is done, now to the rant.

I love fitties – I’m surrounded by them. I’m talking about the vegetarians, pescatarians, chickenetarians and all other form of ‘etarians’ there happen to be. One thing they all have in common is their unhinged, rigid disdain for soda. They’ll eat sh!t that would make a starving dog turn up its nose and claim they love the way they “feel” for doing it, but go for a Coke and all of a sudden we have to enter into a long freaking discussion about how they gave up things that taste good long ago because they’re bad for you. I’m OK with this – there’s no law against being a terse, closed minded stick in the mud, at least not in America (not yet).

Now here’s where this gets fun. I read a linked article the other day on the 8 reasons people drink soda. One of the reasons happens to be my favorite. I’ll quote it so I don’t miss anything: “Promotion and Advertising”

“Soft drinks are heavily consumed in part because companies promote them vigorously – Billions of dollars are spend on advertising sodas – and market them everywhere – in stores, restaurants, gas stations, museums, and even schools.”

First of all, billions? I wonder if someone may be playing loose with the facts there – that’s a lot of cheese folks.

More importantly, the marketing angle is the most weak-kneed, ignorant and flat-out stupid talking point ever devised by a bunch of lilly-livered sissies I’ve ever heard or read. It’s flat out repugnant. Think about that for a second… Are you a big enough wuss to drink a pop because a polar bear cracks one open on an iceberg? Of course not, give me a freaking break. The advertising is there to draw a person to a particular brand, not some insidious ploy to lure blooming idiots to drink pop in lieu of water. Crime in Italy, Chuck! If there was ever a better example of the stupidity possible with group think, I can’t imagine. But there it is, people lap that crap up and then spit it back out as if it were Gospel. It boggles the mind.

Now, the rant’s done, the comments section is below… Just remember, if you actually use the marketing line, that says more about you than the commercial… Or me.

The truth is, one Coke or Pepsi a week never hurt anyone, neither did two… But 20 will rot your teeth and help you to a new, chubbier lifestyle, eventually… But that’s not what Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, RC Cola or any of the other sodas advertise. That’s what we choose because we can, at least for now.


8 Comments

  1. elisariva says:

    I gave it up years ago because it made me gassy. Major bonus points to you for calling it soda!! Too many Ohioan insist on saying “pop”. Hey, if your stomache can take it, enjoy.

  2. CultFit says:

    Dude I get in the same argument with all my LvL 5 vegan, granola crunching friends. Like you if I’m having some pizza or a brat I’ll wash it down with a Coke Zero (my weapon of choice). Normally it’s beer but when the kids are around I’m drinking soda. If it tastes good? Drink it! One will not kill you … Great now you got me going! I grew up on fried bologna sandwiches and Tab Soda! Seem to be doing just fine now.

    • bgddyjim says:

      Amen to that. Sorry to get you stirred up.

    • bgddyjim says:

      PS… That Level 5 Vegan thing was hilarious. You had me laughing out loud – made it sound like Dungeons and Dragons or something. AWESOME!

      • CultFit says:

        FYI- LvL 5 Vegans don’t eat anything that cast a shadow.
        Its from an old Simpson’s episode “Lisa the Tree Hugger” … My wife reads me the riot act in the car when we go out: “Be nice, polite and don’t say anything rude. Just ignore them if they start talking about how on the 8th day the dear Lord gave us Whole Foods.”

      • bgddyjim says:

        I’m with Cartman – it’s all a bunch of tree-huggin’ hippie crap.

        I let ’em have it, right down to their environmentally unfriendly, methane spewing compost pile… And my wife is a tree-hugger so that makes it extra fun. 😉

  3. […] The Soda Rant – Part Deux Posted by bgddyjim on August 9, 2012 Posted in: Cycling, Fitness, Mountain Biking, Running, Triathlon. Leave a Comment I decided to email eMed Expert and ask them about what the nature of some omissions and errors in the article that I wrote about earlier: […]

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