About 4 and a half hours ago the reason for my celebration over the last 18 days became official. 20 Years, clean and sober.
A lot has changed over the last 20 years. All of it good. Gone are the days of worrying if this would be the night I finally landed in prison. Gone are the days of risking my life (and that of others) to get my car home. Gone are the blackouts, the excuses, the lies and the moral depravity. Gone are the shortcomings that I held onto – that kept me drunk. Gone are the hangovers. Gone are the lost jobs, lost friends. Best of all, gone are the lonely days and nights. I haven’t heard, in 20 years, a sentence that starts out, “you’re such a good person, but…” Or, “we love you, but…”
The only “but” in my life is the significantly toned one that I sit on.
In the place of the things that are gone are things like humility (believe me, it’s in there somewhere), honesty, honor, decency and integrity… I haven’t gotten so much as a speeding ticket in years. Though I still have my fleas, they won’t land me in the unemployment line, jail, prison or divorce court.
I have a fantastic fantastic life that I look forward to, rather than a toxic existence that had people running for cover. The People of the State of Michigan can rest easy yet again – for at least another 24 hours.
A birthday 8-10 mile trail run is on tap for today, followed by a short bike ride and bowling this evening. There will be no work today, of any kind.
If you know an alcoholic, send them here… On Monday I’ll be working on a recovery page for my blog, a one stop shop for my recovery based posts – and for the love of God, let them know: Life doesn’t have to be like that, anymore. A decision, a commitment and a little bit of uncomfortable work, and the pain will start turning to happiness. It’s not easy, but it’s worth every second.
On a final note, I met with my mentor Friday night. He looked at me and said, “So, 20 years huh? Yeah, that’s a pretty good start”. He’s got over 31 years. Everyone’s a comedian.