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The Definition Of Is… Fun With The Notion Of Political Correctness

April 2013

I read a rather funny cartoon in which a cartoon woman states sarcastically that she always loves it when a guy calls her babe before be knows her name…

She also drew another in which her character expressed her dislike of a man grabbing her ass a while back. I see a pattern here and I thought I’d comment on it just for fun…

It just so happens that, before even meeting my wife, I had occasion to be at a bar (hell this was before I quit drinking!). Now, I don’t necessarily think I take a good picture, but in the flesh, as it were, I’m quite the smokin’ fella. Put simply, women dig me. It just is what it is and I learned to accept this long ago. So, I’m at this bar, a wee bit intoxicated, and I feel a hand grab and squeeze my right cheek…

Contrary to what most women claim to want to do, I did not wheel around, leading with my knuckles… No, I turned around to see if she was hot first.  In this instance she wasn’t, in fact she was about two of me, so I simply asked her, “please remove your hand from my ass”… And went on getting lit.  No need for punching her or getting all uppity… After all, viewed through the proper lens that case of grab-ass was a compliment:  I was a skinny guy back then and skinny guys are stereotyped into liking fat women. This stereotype most definitely did not fit me though, I’ve alway liked my women tall, hot and slim – if I were a cad I’d include a photo or two of my wife here as an example, but I’m not so I won’t.  Suffice it to say, she’s hot.

This, however, certainly isn’t even the most egregious case of this egregiousness!!! I’ll refrain from giving the full details because my daughter reads my posts, but use your imagination – that’s right.  Of course, those times the chicks were really hot so it was okay and I didn’t have to light me up some bitches for grabbin’ the boys – instead it was more like, “that’s right baby…”  Of course, I did know their names so there’s that.

Anywho, I’ve always been fascinated by women who become irate over men grabbing a little handful of ass. It has been my experience, eye-witness accounts, that often it really works like this:

If the guy is good-looking and doesn’t come on like a sleazy loser (admittedly difficult to do with a handful of butt), he can get away with a lot.  If he’s ugly his advance is automatically sexist and an attack against women, yada, yada, yada.  This isn’t always the case and I don’t mean to imply that it is, but it would be a lot easier for guys if women would walk a certain way that says, “Hey it’s ok to grab my ass if you’re good-looking, make lots of money, or both, or something.

As I said, the above statement is based on first-hand observation – on instances when I’ve either seen women react differently to decent looking and ugly men or who have talked about how they would have reacted if an incident had been perpetrated by a better looking (or uglier) guy. This is why I always view feminine ranting about sexism with such skepticism… I view all discussions through that filter.

So to the main point, calling a woman – any woman unless you’ve put a ring on her finger – ‘babe’ is probably about forty years ago. Now, my wife calls me ‘babe’ and I’d never have a problem with that… Unless the statement that followed ‘babe’ was “you’re late for dinner”… Ooh, then $hit’s gonna get hectic, but accusing my wife of being sexist for calling me ‘babe’ seems a little silly even if she does know my name. Now, if a chick at the gas station called me ‘babe’, I’d be flattered – even if she were uglier than a bulldog’s ass, but that’s just how I roll. See, being a true manly man, I’m able to look beyond ugly – I can be flattered by the effort rather than get all mixed up in delivery…

Of course that’s the trick: How much free rent do I want to give to complaining? Generally speaking it’s not like I’d go on a two-week rant after being mislabeled a sexist or something… Oh wait, err… You see, life isn’t perfect! Let’s move along as if nothing happened.

I read another post the other day about an incident that happened more than eleven years ago… This woman was, as she saw it, mistreated by a man regarding cycling. She said it was the only time something like that happened and that every guy she’s met afterwards has been fantastic – but that one instance is evidence of sexism in cycling.  Here’s the point: Why? Why put that much weight on one @$$hole?

To ease off of the parody and humor for a minute, the real point of this post is to highlight this one simple rule that I always try to adhere to:  I don’t have room for indignation in my life, righteous or not.  I am not always able to accept things as they are – I am, after all, human – but the ideal is what is important.  When I am indignant I am feeding an animal that only causes me pain and consternation.  As much as it pains me, for me to enjoy my life, I have to get over myself.  This isn’t always easy because sometimes I do have to stick up for myself, but in the end if I hold on to anger the only thing I can be is angry.

I am always okay with the stereotype, “Men are pigs”.  The term pig is egregious, over the top and purposefully repugnant, but true enough when compared to most women.  Must I lash out every time someone says (or writes) something I disagree with?  That only depends on whether or not I want to feed that indignant animal that seeks only to keep me angry.


  1. Paige says:

    Love your view on life! Not even sure when I started reading your blog (or who recommended it) but you never fail to make me smile. Oh, and I’ve had friends who have been urging me to get into cycling for years. Oddly enough your blog has done more to sway me than they have. Keep up the good work!

    • bgddyjim says:

      Thank you for sharing that. I’ll do my best, that’s a promise. Good luck getting into cycling – there’s nothing like feeling like a kid again.

  2. saltyvelo says:

    “If the guy is good-looking and doesn’t come on like a sleazy loser (admittedly difficult to do with a handful of butt), he can get away with a lot.”

    As we’ve all recently learned, being second on the podium is no place to grab you a ‘lil booty. It would be interesting to see what someone on the top could get away with.

  3. elisariva says:

    Oh where to begin…. My view – it is never appropriate to grab another’s ass when you do not know the person at all. If that is okay, when does it become a violation? Grab a boob? Or worse, since he grabbed the back, why not try the front? I am not on a rampage at all, just want to focus on respect. A lady (ie not a chick) should be treated as such. I don’t care how physically good looking a man is, I would never find it appropriate. No, I wouldn’t slap him, but I would find the nearest cop if present and let him know the guy did it. Uninvited grabbing is a form of molestation. No lady should ever think there worth is low enough that a stranger can violate them. No matter how good looking – heck Ted Bundy was hot. Just my view. Awareness matters.

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