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And She Shall Be Named “Cavallo Rosso”

August 2013
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My Venge is the Ferrari of bicycles, everyone knows this. Mine, being the “Comp” may be the Dino or in today’s terms maybe the FF (Ferrari’s grocery getter) but I’m cool with that – and the best part is my wife didn’t ask for a divorce when I brought her home, so that was the icing on the cake. Had I come home with the $12,000 S-Works Venge, well let’s just say a bike worth Twelve Grand would be cool as hell at the Tuesday night club ride but it wouldn’t exactly keep daddy warm at night. Get it?

Whatever. The point is, I had to come up with an awesome name for her because she’s a badass… She shall be called Cavelo Rosso [Notice the difference from the title – It took a bit to hit me, change the vallo to velo…  Cooler!  Yes, I am aware that I am a nerd.  In the real world I hide it well.  On my blog I can let him play.], which means Red Horse in Italian. Now, you might be inclined to say, “but Jim, that bike’s black“. Oh ye of limited vision! That’s not black, that’s clear coated carbon fiber baby, she’s naked! So, she’s a naked mare – just enough red to cover up the ni- well, you get it. That’s hot and deserving of a proper name that exudes that hotness.

So, I got to thinking, Ferrari, red, red, Italian…stallion… BINGO! But red stallion looks like this: Stallone Rosso. Yeah, I’m not a gay femme so that wouldn’t do. Then I went with Red Mare because in English, that sounds pretty freaking awesome! Night mare, red mare – wicked fast! YES! Unfortunately that translates to Italian like shit, so that was out. I couldn’t even pronounce it!

Then I didn’t like the masculine nature of red horse so I just decided out of the blue that I’d tinker with the gender. Made sense to me and 95% of the people who will ever read this blog would never be the wiser! Unfortunately it’s that five damned percent that would figure out, while much sexier sounding, Cavalla Rossa really means Pink Horse – and Rossa is spelled wrong, it’s Rosa! Well, again, back to the “not flamin’ gay” thing. It’s just not, um, me.

So Cavallo Rosso held the day. And as the great and wise Donald Duck Dunn once said so eloquently:

Fit it does.

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Update: driving down the road this morning I thought of a much better name Cavelo Rosso.

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