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You’re Not Looking at it Right…

February 2014
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I’ve been trying to figure out what I wanted to write about today and I still had some Vegan humor stuff up in another browser from the other day so I started poking around – and viola!  Now, this post will not be another rip on vegans  [Oops, yes, yes it will – I just had to keep reading, just had to pass up number four].  I’m just trying to expand some thinking…  Maybe explain why some people think they have it tougher than someone else…

From one of my favorites to laugh at, the Huffinglue Post:  “The 17 Dumbest Things Vegetarians Have To Deal With

4. Paying the same price at restaurants for the vegetarian option.

It just doesn’t make sense that the rice and beans without chicken still costs $18 without the chicken. That’s a whole component of the dish being taken out. It’s absurd, and restaurants shouldn’t be making an extra five bucks off every person who subs out the meat. The only small conciliation are the Mexican restaurants that include guacamole in their vegetarian options, but it’s still just never enough.

If this is a problem you face, or anything like it, you’re simply not looking at it right.

If you’re at your local Subway, you might have a point…  If, on the other hand, you’re paying $18 for some chicken, rice and beans, that would suggest a normal restaurant.  Because I actually dine at decent establishments with a vegetarian or two on a regular basis, I know that the chef goes out of his/her way to make sure that the beans and rice come with a little more than just beans and rice.  They’ll throw in mixed, grilled veggies and usually a special blend of the sauce to go with the veggies and even a few extra spices to make it edible.  In other words, you’re getting another $20 worth of stuff done to your beans and rice dinner to make your experience enjoyable…  Or at least as enjoyable as possible without the meat.

The right way to look at it, at least for every occasion I’ve ever seen, is that you’re getting more for that $18 than the people who get the standard dish.  So much like the Chuffington Post to look at a positive negatively.

I just had to keep going, didn’t I?  About the protein, from the same article, Number 8:

“Here are some very sufficient sources of protein vegetarians eat on a daily basis: Quinoa (one cup contains 8.14 grams), tempeh (a half-cup serving has 15 grams), lentils and beans (a cup of lentils has 18 grams, a cup of chickpeas has 15 grams), Greek yogurt (6-ounce serving has 20 grams) and eggs (6 grams per egg). We challenge you to a protein-off any day!”

Really?  Well, let’s just do the math shall we, because I happen to know my numbers.  On any given day I need about 120 grams of protein.  How much do you think all of that above amounts to?  About 2/3’s a daily serving.  That’s right, 80 grams.  A nice 12 oz hunk of steak?  About 100 grams.  Add one 6 oz. serving of Greek yogurt and I’m good.  I win.

How about another:

11. The world’s disbelief that you can live without bacon.

It really can’t be that hard to understand that we don’t want to eat pig fat. Sure it might smell delicious, but most vegetarians didn’t give up meat because of taste. We’re already aware that meat tastes good, but that’s not the point.

Yes it really is that hard to understand.  IT’S BACON.

And this goes back to “you’re not looking at this the right way”:

12. When restaurants refuse to accommodate.

There are plenty of wonderful vegetarian dishes that restaurants could easily include on their menus. It’s not very hard to add a simple veggie burger (as we said, they’re not the best, but better than nothing!) along with the list of all the other burger variations on the menu. How about an easy pasta dish?

Again, I know some high-end places who bend over backwards to accommodate vegetarians…  That said, it is not my job to cater to every person on the planet…  You don’t see a good Italian joint with Chinese food on the menu do you?  Of course you don’t.  On that same line of thinking, I can’t get a decent burger at every joint I walk into either.  You don’t see we carnivores blubbering about it!  In fact, this very conundrum presented itself just last Saturday on Date Night.  The lovely Mrs. Bgddy and I were out on the town and Daddy wanted a burger…  Bad.  So we decided to head over to the Fenton Fire Hall…  Rave reviews, many of which mentioned “comfort food”…  Well I like being comforted by my food, so we’re all good right?  Well, not exactly.  We have this awesome thing called the internet now, and they post menus on this internet.  When we looked it up online and took a peek at the menu.  Guess what I found?!  No burgers.  So we went over to Brick Street, I got my damn burger and we had a fantastic time.  Get it?

Calling Captain Irony for Number 15:

Vegetarians seem to have to constantly apologize for not eating meat, mostly because people project pretentiousness onto them. “Do you think you’re better than me?” is a question vegetarians are far too tired of hearing. We’re just trying to live our lives, bro, stop being a jerk.

Projection ain’t just a fuckin’ river in Egypt bub and I sure as hell am not projecting.  If the shit fits, wear it.  See number 12, rinse and repeat.

The Article does slam the pretentious in the very next one, so good on the HuffPo.  Really, the main point of this post, and probably every post I’ve ever written is this:

Please, for the love of God and all that is Holy, stop taking yourself so seriously.  Nobody else does and you’re just making this awesome trip through life miserable for nothing.

Peace to my Veggie friends, especially you Rebecca.  You are wacky, no doubt about that, but you are tops when it comes to graciousness and you let me be my approximation of wacky, so it’s all good.  Pete’s a lucky guy.


16 Comments

  1. Ha, awesome laugh for a Tuesday afternoon.

    Try this next time; walk into a vegetarian restaurant and ask for a steak and watch the reaction…….

  2. Paige says:

    I think most of us (myself included) take many things far too seriously. I’ve been a vegetarian for a couple of years now. I haven’t tried to convert anyone else. To each his own. I try to laugh at myself regularly…I’m pretty darn funny! And YES I do miss bacon! 🙂

    • bgddyjim says:

      My heart bleeds for you on the bacon thing. May you find comfort and peace in these troubled times… 😉

      I wrote that last part as much for me as anyone else.

  3. AndrewGills says:

    Well said. I am so sick of the “I am vegan/vegetarian so I am better/kinder/smarter/healthier than you” rubbish. You don’t hear me asking to be served chicken at a vegetarian restaurant do you? If you eat at a restaurant you’ll know that most of the cost of meal pays wages rent etc. Cost of actual food on a $18 dish is probably only $5. So that chicken you want taken out is probably only $1-2 but the time taken to make special order is probably $3-4 in productivity. So I agree with your post.

    PS I also think people should just take a chill pill. Eat food for nutrition and pleasure. Why make it restrictive and serious 🙂

  4. Eileen says:

    I think your recent string of veggie-hate posts are to throw us off because you’re actually about to come out as a fully raw vegan next week 🙂

    • bgddyjim says:

      They’re not hate posts – not even close. This one, if anything, was a Captain Obvious post.

      I do hate broccoli, Brussels sprouts and cauliflower…oh, and Lima beans. No people though (maybe pedophiles, yeah I hate them).

      Finally, I will never, I assure you, come out as a Vegan. I appreciate the jab (it put a smile on my face). But it’s just not going to happen. I believe too much in happiness, healthiness and balance. Check out today’s post to understand the depth of my conviction.

    • bgddyjim says:

      Changed my mind… I’m just going to let it go.

      • Eileen says:

        That’s too bad. You almost convinced me to raid my boyfriend’s bacon stash! 😉

      • bgddyjim says:

        Chuckle… On that note, my buddy’s wife is a vegetarian (she eats like a vegan but without all of the insanity (meat is murder, blah, blah, blah). Their kids were all raised as such but were given the choice to remain so when they hit a certain age… When they hit that age, my buddy started them off with bacon.

        They never had a chance.

  5. I say live and let live! And my boyfriend reacquainted me with bacon and I’ve seen the light; it’s pretty much amazing on anything!

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