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Being of Maximum Usefulness…

February 2014

Living with my wife is not easy. Before you jump to conclusions, this isn’t a bad thing. My wife has a heart of gold – she is a good person. Living with my wife is tough because she casts a pretty big shadow and that’s both good and bad.

A fairly large principle followed diligently in recovery, well in those who practice a program anyway, is being of maximum usefulness to others. First, my wife does so much good, it’s easy to stand back in that shadow and let her go about it. After all, it is my hard work that affords her the time and opportunity to do so much. If she had to work to make our mortgage things would be a lot different. That’s the bad part. If I’m completely honest with myself, I know that my part doesn’t end there, that would be cheating. So in a conversation with God a couple of weeks ago, I let him know that I’m ready for a little more.

The other day a guy asked me to grab a burger with him. Normally I’d rather hang out around the house with Mrs. Bgddy and the kids – but I have to be of maximum usefulness to someone other than myself…and I asked for it.

Today I’m heading out to lunch with him. The tough part there is he happens to be blind. I am, and always have been, a touch self-centered so heading out to lunch with a guy who can’t make it across the parking lot without my arm has me nervous as a long-tail cat in a roomful of grannies in rocking chairs. I won’t be allowed even a second’s lapse into my normal behavior.

The good part in my wife’s shadow is that I know it’s the right thing to do so today I’ll get out of my little comfort zone and do the next right thing.

Kind of funny what happens when you get what you ask for, eh?

Thank God I didn’t ask for patience!


  1. MikeW says:

    Beautiful ethos, sculpting away attachments, being with a living person. The mercenary side of us wonders what better investment could be made…and that side of us never tells the truth that no comparative investment cheats death; but lovingkindness is the seed of eternal life planted in our souls. Once dead, we will fertilize that seed and then, some One will come to water and sun warm us with lovingkindness they’ll nurture us. Somehow I believe this, looking at how nature herself works in ordinary seasons.

  2. MikeW says:

    and the seed of lovingkindness will rise as like attracts like…and grow. Genesis.

  3. Do not EVER ask for patience!

  4. […] Being of Maximum Usefulness… […]

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