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IPhone WordPress Constantly Crashing? Help is on the way!

February 2014
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I’ve been ready, many times over the last few weeks, ever since the new WordPress app upgrade came out, to incinerate or otherwise vaporize my phone. I was lucky if I could get WordPress to start on the first try and if I wasn’t lucky, it could be ten minutes of the app crashing before it would finally, mercifully, decide to open up. If this sounds familiar, fear not! Help is on the way… From Apple!

That’s right folks, there’s a new operating system update out and it’s fixed whatever was conflicting with WordPress.

To those who build the WordPress app, I apologize profusely for comparing the WordPress app with the Obamacare website to my wife. Turns out it looks like it wasn’t your fault after all.

Imagine that. Now just imagine if Apple had tried to convince everyone that there was really nothing wrong and that their operating system was right and everyone else was a mess, and then launch a news attack campaign against those who were having problems with the operating system, calling them anti-Apple-ists. Then Apple audited those user’s accounts for irregularities and possible law violations, payment and regulation infringements and general misuse of iTunes (and then when they found none, they just made some up and put the burden of proof on the WordPress user), costing the detractors tens of thousands of dollars and countless hours to defend their right to say something about it… And then, the WordPress hating media came out and tried to lend credence to Apple’s claim that the detractors were actually complaining about nothing! The detractors were anti-Apple separatists and the even probably posed a homegrown terrorism risk – simply for wanting their WordPress app to work right and otherwise leave them the hell alone – as was intended in the first place, according to the companies founding documents.

Wait a minute… I can’t put my finger on it… Hmmm…

Oh yeah! Then Democrat Senators came to the rescue of the people and gave them minority protections, so if the big bad evil corporations tried to attack them unfairly like that ever again, the swift hand of justice and condemnation would rain down from the Heavens!!!

Nah. That’s just crazy talk. That could never happen. Nothing to see here, move along.

Seriously though, if you’re having trouble with your WordPress app, the new iOS update fixes it. Thanks Apple for fixing whatever you did, Daddy’s iPhone is much better – and I’m a much happier fella.

UPDATE: Nope, the iOS upgrade just worked better for 12 hours or so, back to hanging up on me. Deleted the whole WordPress app figuring I should just start fresh. New app took three crashes before it finally opened. What a mess.


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