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Daily Archives: October 17, 2014

Scientists want Fitness Information Printed on a Can of Soda. One Problem: They’re Idiots…

I was just informed, by one of the clueless Info-babes on the news, that I’d have to run four miles to burn off a bottle of Coke and that “scientists” are pushing to have “fitness information” printed on soda containers (once the soda manufacturers cave, as those sissies always do for something like this, the fast-food industry will be next, mark my words).

I am so utterly tired of this idiotic bullshit.  First of all, if I was a 110 pound girl and only ran ten minute mile, maybe it would take me four miles to run off a 20 oz. bottle of Coke (250 calories).  Maybe.  You know what though?  I’m not, I’m a 170 pound chunk of awesome – I could run that off in two miles.  Two miles, half what was reported.

Calories Per Mile Running

So what has me so boiled about this?  I get the concept, use it myself in fact when I want to go to the store and pick up a Coke…  I think, “look if you buy that Coke (I only get the small size, not the 20 oz.), three or four miles of your evening ride are going right to that bottle – and usually that’s good enough for me to skip it.  The problem is that your average porker doesn’t care how many freaking miles they have to run or ride to burn off a bottle of Coke because they  don’t RUN OR RIDE.  If that wasn’t bad enough (it is), your average plumper doesn’t even drink Coke – they drink Diet Coke.  What are you going to put on that?  “You have to run 0 miles to burn off the contents of this bottle”.  Yeah, that’s brilliant.  Incidentally, fatties are why they print caloric content on fast food menu boards and soda bottles in the first place!

If that isn’t bad enough (it is), we’ve got kids being given a few pieces of sliced ham, a couple of crackers, a small chunk of cheese and a nasty piece of cauliflower and a splash of ranch dressing for a school lunch.  If I found out that my kid was served that for lunch, shit would hit the fan.  My kid’s are freaking competitive swimmers for God’s sake.  The 8 year-old swims for an hour straight.  The 11 year-old for an hour and a half.  They’d burn through that stupid lunch in the first fifteen minutes.  You know, I’m a fairly decent, tolerant fellow but I can’t believe somebody actually paid money for that lunch.  I’d have thrown it at the “dietician” in charge of ordering that shit.

Here’s my problem:  Do-gooder brain dead Liberals make these dumbest-down policies because fat people can’t control themselves around food.  Unfortunately it’s only we smart folks who pay attention to that shit so we have to suffer the idiocy too.  You could print that you’d have to jog across America to burn off that 20 oz. Coke and people would still buy it.  The people for whom it’s intended don’t care.  They will care about how this rant of a post was written though:

Fun with Words…

Now, if you’re average you got up to “porker” and I had you.  If that didn’t get you, “plumper” got the job done.  If you’re an exceptional person you made it all the way to “fatties”.  If you’re Mother Theresa reincarnated you made it to this point…  You’re about to head to the comments section to accuse me of “fat shaming”.  If you’re not overweight or a brain dead Liberal, you’re laughing and already get the joke.

What do you think the intention is in printing how many miles you have to run to burn off a bottle of Coke?  It’s meant to shame you into grabbing a water instead.  Those “scientists” want to shame you into thinking before you open your mouth to place something in it.

Get it?  Have a Blessed day, and I apologize in advance for the language used in this post.  It was meant to get a large segment of the population to think.  I happen to be a recovering chubby myself.