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Scientists want Fitness Information Printed on a Can of Soda. One Problem: They’re Idiots…

October 2014
« Sep   Nov »

I was just informed, by one of the clueless Info-babes on the news, that I’d have to run four miles to burn off a bottle of Coke and that “scientists” are pushing to have “fitness information” printed on soda containers (once the soda manufacturers cave, as those sissies always do for something like this, the fast-food industry will be next, mark my words).

I am so utterly tired of this idiotic bullshit.  First of all, if I was a 110 pound girl and only ran ten minute mile, maybe it would take me four miles to run off a 20 oz. bottle of Coke (250 calories).  Maybe.  You know what though?  I’m not, I’m a 170 pound chunk of awesome – I could run that off in two miles.  Two miles, half what was reported.

Calories Per Mile Running

So what has me so boiled about this?  I get the concept, use it myself in fact when I want to go to the store and pick up a Coke…  I think, “look if you buy that Coke (I only get the small size, not the 20 oz.), three or four miles of your evening ride are going right to that bottle – and usually that’s good enough for me to skip it.  The problem is that your average porker doesn’t care how many freaking miles they have to run or ride to burn off a bottle of Coke because they  don’t RUN OR RIDE.  If that wasn’t bad enough (it is), your average plumper doesn’t even drink Coke – they drink Diet Coke.  What are you going to put on that?  “You have to run 0 miles to burn off the contents of this bottle”.  Yeah, that’s brilliant.  Incidentally, fatties are why they print caloric content on fast food menu boards and soda bottles in the first place!

If that isn’t bad enough (it is), we’ve got kids being given a few pieces of sliced ham, a couple of crackers, a small chunk of cheese and a nasty piece of cauliflower and a splash of ranch dressing for a school lunch.  If I found out that my kid was served that for lunch, shit would hit the fan.  My kid’s are freaking competitive swimmers for God’s sake.  The 8 year-old swims for an hour straight.  The 11 year-old for an hour and a half.  They’d burn through that stupid lunch in the first fifteen minutes.  You know, I’m a fairly decent, tolerant fellow but I can’t believe somebody actually paid money for that lunch.  I’d have thrown it at the “dietician” in charge of ordering that shit.

Here’s my problem:  Do-gooder brain dead Liberals make these dumbest-down policies because fat people can’t control themselves around food.  Unfortunately it’s only we smart folks who pay attention to that shit so we have to suffer the idiocy too.  You could print that you’d have to jog across America to burn off that 20 oz. Coke and people would still buy it.  The people for whom it’s intended don’t care.  They will care about how this rant of a post was written though:

Fun with Words…

Now, if you’re average you got up to “porker” and I had you.  If that didn’t get you, “plumper” got the job done.  If you’re an exceptional person you made it all the way to “fatties”.  If you’re Mother Theresa reincarnated you made it to this point…  You’re about to head to the comments section to accuse me of “fat shaming”.  If you’re not overweight or a brain dead Liberal, you’re laughing and already get the joke.

What do you think the intention is in printing how many miles you have to run to burn off a bottle of Coke?  It’s meant to shame you into grabbing a water instead.  Those “scientists” want to shame you into thinking before you open your mouth to place something in it.

Get it?  Have a Blessed day, and I apologize in advance for the language used in this post.  It was meant to get a large segment of the population to think.  I happen to be a recovering chubby myself.



  1. 170 pounds of awesome! haha

  2. . . . just a can of chemicals! I’ve written before about all of the GARBAGE that people put in their bodies. It’s mind blowing.

    • bgddyjim says:

      Well, I get the regular sodas and am particularly fond of Coke and Vernors (ginger ale). That diet stuff is gnarly though. All of that said, nothing beats the tang of a good old fashioned cane sugar soda. On an exceptionally rare basis of course.

  3. JustI says:

    Not to mention NYC banning cokes greater than 16 oz. in restaurants, etc; however, 7-11s were exempt and could sell their BIG GULPS until eternity. The media has to have something to talk about (outside of real news) and I guess there weren’t any little old ladies with a 100 cats to report on.

  4. FWiW, I’m a liberal (hopefully not braindead and not really a flaming liberal or anything), and I think this idea is horseshit too.

    • bgddyjim says:

      This is why I clarified… It’s really tough to separate the Michelle Obama, “get your mitts into everything”, from the good old, “leave us alone” Liberals. Course you’ve got Michael Doomberg in there too – the get you coming and going anymore.

  5. fastk9dad says:

    I’m laughing. 😉

    I don’t care what they print on the bottles as I drink them so rarely, but on the occasion I get a hankering after burning a few thousand calories on the bike, it’s not even going to make a dent…

    We are slowly but surely becoming a nanny state.

    • bgddyjim says:

      The sad thing is these people are goofy enough to think printing another warning on a pop bottle will actually matter. Could you imagine you and I sitting around talking about obesity and we come up with THAT as a solution? The level of arrogance in these people is astounding.

    • MJ Ray says:

      The USA is a nanny state. It’s a dysfunctional nanny though that fails to provide a public service to look after the health of the nation, so people keep scrabbling around for ineffective sticking- plasters like these.

      Michelle Obama a liberal? Wow. No. From Europe, it really looks like the USA has two major political parties, the Republican Conservatives and the Democrat Conservatives. If only there was some realistic socialist option there.

      • bgddyjim says:

        Oh dear God. You can’t use the words “realistic” and “socialist” in the same sentence. Talk about an oxymoron! The difference between the Obamas and your run of the mill socialist is that they know the country won’t tolerate that much of a swing all at once. They lie about who they are and what they believe so that they can change as much as possible without alarming the voting public. Once the emperor drops his robe, it’s all over. Watch the coming elections.

        That said, the US didn’t go from start-up nation 200 years ago to top of the world by rushing to socialism. No, we got there by doing exactly opposite that. Socialism promotes losing.

  6. This is SO moronic. I can’t really believe how low companies like this will sink to remain relevant.

  7. biking2work says:

    I think that you simplify the brain dead Liberal argument. It’s not liberals but politicians in general of all persuasions who do this not because they care about the electorate but because it is a way to get the populist vote. Agree with what you say otherwise – it’s a clever marketing ploy on the fatties to get them the buy in to the concept to drink this crap. It’s easier to crack open a “diet” drink that to get off the sofa and move to the extent of getting out of breath…

  8. hi says:

    Fructose mainly corn fructose, poverty, medical conditions and mental health as well as genetics define a great propitiation to body type as well as social acceptance and placement. Not to mention time and money.

    Some people truly believe that ‘Diet Drinks’ are healthy, some wouldn’t touch the company and all it’s subsidiary’s with a barge pole.

    I’m not in your country of choice, but I can’t see how simplifying information for the average person is wrong. The info may not hold up, but at least it is a starting point to get people aware.

    They put info of the units of alcohol on bottles (doesn’t stop people being dead beat drunks) but it is a starting point for the average person, to help them become aware.

    It’s not a bad thing really.

    I have never found myself looking at a person in disgust because of they are larger or thinner than me, although I have turned away in disgust when I found out they were a rambling vile idiot.

    • bgddyjim says:

      I’m curious, what’s the difference between a rambling, vile idiot, a village idiot, a dead beat drunk, the obese and your average brain dead liberal?

      The brain dead liberal is by far the worst. Not only are they wrong by choice, they belive they’re right, no matter the abundance of conclusive fact to show they are wrong and they expect everyone else to be just like them in spite of that evidence – they call it messaging. And technically it’s high fructose corn syrup – but that’s not what’s in diet soda, that’s a chemical sweetner and right or wrong, it spooks me. On the other hand, it’s also been vetted so I don’t expect anyone to believe as I do. This, unlike others, is supposed to be a free country.

      That said, the drunk and the obese are the same person, different addiction. Unlike the brain dead liberal, I was a drunk by choice and knew I was wrong and until I was ready to quit there was nothing anyone could say or do to make me change my mind. No amount of advertising could cut through that fog. Also, I decided that I was going to be fat at one point. The decision was short-lived but made. I am highly intelligent and came from good stock yet am fully capable of making, and living with, stupid decisions. I am also capable of being vile to prove a point but I do have to work at it, take my time and be deliberate about it. I also have a tough time doing this when speaking because I don’t typically think like that so I’m a little slow with the wit.

      That said, people drink pop because it tastes better than water. Rocket science, this is not. It doesn’t matter how much people make, where they live or what leg they put into their underpants first. The people who would make these companies print blatantly false fitness information on a bottle of pop are the same geniuses who thought printing the calorie content on the bottle would sway the public. They were wrong then and wrong now, because those who abuse soda already know it is unhealthy to overconsunme it. They don’t care.

  9. dagowop says:

    Being a current fatty, or at least chubster, I can completely get behind you on this post and your comments.

    “Well said, brother!” – you

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