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Your Mountain Bike Can WHAT?! The Laugh Out Loud Search Term of the Cycling Year…

November 2014
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This one made me laugh out loud:

“My mountain bike can keep up with road bikes”…

No. It. Can’t.

Never mind the silly grammatical flaw… The people riding those road bikes you can keep up with on your mountain bike are slow. Period. Bring your mountain bike up to Michigan and I will kick your ass. Twice, just to make sure you know it’s not a fluke and you pick the distance.

Is this statement cocky?  Sure, a little bit, but c’mon folks… 

Now, to analyze the statement with a straight face – which I almost attempted (the straight face part, the analysis is actually quite simple), I can use my own experience on the Dawn Farm Ride for Recovery this past April.  I rode that one with my wife, her first 100k ride.  We were averaging between 15 and 16 mph and we were passed by a kid on a straight fork 29’er (no shock), barely.  Now, anyone who knows anything about mountain biking knows that only really fast riders choose a hard-tail mountain bike without a front shock.  They give up the comfort of a shock for two simple reasons, for weight and speed.  He was averaging, on his mountain bike, between 17 and 18 mph to pass us, but he couldn’t hold that for long…  He’d pull ahead for a bit, then fall back and latch on to our little four man and one woman train for a while, etc..  Point is, that kid knew what he was doing, he could ride and the best he could do was 16-17 mph… I’m not breaking a sweat till I hit 17 on my road bike. I’m not breathing heavy till I hit 19 and I’m not working till I hit 21-22. A sprint? 31-32 mph. You’re geared out on a mountain bike at 29 – and that’s if you have a huge 42 tooth big ring!

This is very simple: If you can keep up with a real roadie on a mountain bike, call Sky and take Wiggo’s job. Otherwise, keep it to yourself lest you come off like a dope. Whoever you are out there though, good God, thanks for the laugh. I needed that.

This:

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Cannot beat this:

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Ever.


3 Comments

  1. bigtosh90 says:

    Ofcourse this is only true on tarmac,

    Lovely words as always mate, not only do I look at your blog for good reading but as a newbie I enjoy it as a source of inspiration of how to write.

    Check out my newest blog Mr roadie you will like it 🙂

    http://bigtosh90.wordpress.com/2014/11/14/one-hell-of-a-passage-word-up-andy-waterman/

  2. It’s mostly down to air drag and rolling resistance I guess. Those fat knobbly tyres must slow you down by miles on the tarmac (to be honest I’ve never ridden a proper mountain bike). I love how your MTB and road bike are colour matched! Not breaking a sweat till you hit 17mph? You need to find more hills… :p

    Oh and buy yourself a Garmin for Christmas. 🙂

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