If you’re into cycling, you already know how wonderful the sport is. The speed, with respect to road biking and every part of mountain biking. Being hungry and able to eat better than a small bird, the bikes themselves… Let’s face it, it’s all good.
However, there is one tiny aspect of cycling in a group that makes life grand, that puts a spring in my step like no other: The arm flick.
As the cycling season kicks off in fly-over country (and yes, Chicagoans, you are fly-over country too) it is time to disect every little aspect of cycling as if it were a form of mythical awesomeness, not just riding a bicycle.
The arm flick may seem to be, to most casual observers of the Tour de France, simply a gesture used to get the cyclist behind to move up in the rotation. Oh, ye simpleton. The arm flick, especially when used in a club ride, means so much more.
That lone flick of the arm, in a fraction of a second says, “My brothers and sisters, I have laid myself bare. I have given you my everything oh sweet friend, and have no more to give. Please, oh kind friend, take my position that I may replenish my constitution in your life-giving draft.”
That’s a lot of meaning in a simple flick of an arm!
That is not all however, my most excellent friend. If you are lucky enough to cycle with your mate as I do, the arm flick becomes an unspoken language of tenderness, caring and – dare I say, Love itself.
Used on the couch, it carries such meaning as “Honey, my dearest, please take remote in thine hand and clickest thou over to the game to allow me the opportunity to ascertain the contest’s score”.
Or, “My handsome hunk of a human heating coil, scooteth thou over and shareth thine sweet warmth that I may fall into life-regenerating sleep.”
It can say, “Dearest woman, I have given my all in support of our humble home by laying plunder to countless billions of blades of grass, that you may enjoy our palace grounds… Wouldest thou make me a sammich?”
As any husband can relate to… “My steady rock, thine pillar of awesomeness, wouldest thou see to this most lengthy of lists, manual chores that are too technically difficult, with need of tools and sweat of brow, that thou may recieve some honey on retiring this evening…”
Or any wife… “Dearest love, giver of thine love to me and life to our wonderful children, my beautiful wife, a tragedy of tragedies…I seem to have run out of clean underwear! Wherest hath thou placed the folded laundry?”
Or even, “Sweet man, my ample bosom longs for your tender caress, get in here, big shooter!” (Thanks to Mrs. Bgddy for that one).
So, as we in the upper hemisphere begin to celebrate the oncoming summer, use the arm flick well and often… And as soon as I come up with a witty one-liked, I’ll make a tee shirt out of it as a part of my soon-to-be released apparel company.
Now, what do you use the arm flick for?