Our club recently had a new kit made up…
Life is cruel and unfair. Bib shorts: Ask almost anyone who wears them, they are vastly more comfortable and absolutely more visually flattering, than cycling shorts. With the shoulder straps, tight waistbands aren’t necessary and the mesh holds in the love handles in a lot better. Male or female, the consensus is, for comfort, bib shorts are where it’s at.
Unfortunately, with all of the vast technology available to us in 2015, they haven’t yet been able to design a pair of bibs with a breakaway strap (or two for the ladies) so they can be lowered to a point where relieving oneself becomes simple and easy (or maybe such an invention does exist, I just haven’t found it yet).
Now, if you’re squeamish, don’t click the “More” button to read the rest of this post. If you don’t see the “More” button to click, you landed directly on this post… Know this gets a little crazy, but pretty much stays PG to PG 13… Read on at your own risk.. I don’t want to read any whining in the comments section – you were fairly warned:
First, it’s not all that bad, especially for or men. I’ve heard of one dear friend, who shall remain unnamed, who used to wear the straps outside of his jersey simply because it was easier to deal with the call of nature (now he goes strictly with shorts). DON’T. Don’t ever wear the straps of your bibs on the outside of your jersey. I don’t care, you deserve to be heckled, cajoled, and possibly even cyber-bullied for such an egregious fashion faux pas. Besides, relieving oneself in bibs is easier than you might think, and certainly easy enough that it beats looking goofy. Simply grasp the bottom of your short leg (preferably the side you dress), fold it up once, then twice, stretch the leg of the shorts to the inside, and you’re good to go. Simple as that.
For women? Well it’s a lot trickier, but I have it on authority, the benefits still outweigh the logistical problems. If you’re gonna pee, the jersey is comin’ off or it’s gonna get messy. For this reason, ONLY go with a full-zip jersey with the bib shorts and you might want to consider a sports bra with that jersey. Now, we’re not quite done yet… Some women are known to be “straight-line peeers”… If this is you, read on. If you spray, don’t play. The roll up the short leg method is used by many women straight-liner’s – it just requires a lot of concentration. There are a few more methods, for the adventurous, here. The truth is, ladies, I only delved into the feminine side of this equation because I bought my wife the same club kit…and we’ll just leave it at she was sweatin’ bullets over the bibs. I do cycle with women other than my wife from time to time, but when they have to use a tree I travel well up the road and wait there to allow for some semblance of privacy. My rule is to respect my wife first, be a gentleman second and let the rest work out in the wash. This is really one of those tricky topics that I’d much prefer not even talk about. On the other hand, if we don’t share these simple little tips, we often feed the ignorance, such as in my case.