Many people wonder what possesses an alcoholic to drink like we do, why we can’t just “stop”… Here’s a vastly oversimplified explanation:
Before I quit, I had a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.
The angel was powerless over the devil. The devil always won. In turn, I was powerless over that little red bastard.
Working a program of recovery simply gave the angel a 9mm with a fifteen round clip.
The reality, of course, was a little more complex. I had a whole committee running around in my melon and once I started entertaining the thought of getting drunk, an argument ensued. The “let’s get hammered” caucus overpowered everything else. When I sobered up, I learned how to develop new Kung Fu against that caucus. Eventually, through A LOT of practice, I learned how to discard that initial thought as useless garbage, rendering the “let’s get hammered caucus” impotent.
I learned how to win… And it’s worked for decades. The “devil” side still rears its ugly head every now and again, tries to pry its way into the discussion every now and again but the good side’s Kung Fu is strong.
I will never claim that I won’t drink tomorrow, but I won’t today. As long as tomorrow never gets here, I’m good (and it never does, not if I’m working in recovery).
Simple as that, and we learn early on: Keep It Simple Stupid.