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Daily Archives: August 28, 2015

“I Don’t Have the Time for Fitness”, and Other Donut Shop Lies…

You’ve either heard it or said it.  “I don’t have time to go to the gym.”  “I don’t have time to work out.”

I’ve heard them all and said a few myself, including “I don’t have time to go to the gym.”  These are donut shop lies, the lies we tell others while we’re sitting on the stool in the donut shop.  I did, of course, have time to go to the gym.  I hate the frickin’ gym and there’s no way I’m wasting my money on a gym membership.  At least that’s honest.

I do, on the other hand, have time for fitness.  This is my cycling mileage for 2015:

2015 Mileage

That works out to about 5,300 miles.  Or, to break that down by calorie consumption, 300,000 (give or take).  That works out to about 85 pounds worth of calories.  My average speed over those miles was, on the low-end, 18.5 mph…  Divide 5,300 by 18.5, divide that by 34 weeks into the year…  8 hours a week.  On average.

8 hours a week, albeit 8 fast hours, and I can burn through 85 pounds in 8 months.

To be fair, I hardly put in any miles in January and February and my late spring and summer months are stacked, so that should be taken into account.  Still, my longest week on the bike only worked out to two hours a day on average.  Let’s look at this by day though, because this tells a great story too:

Mileage By Day

Mileage By Day II

I didn’t include this last week or so because I’m tapering a little bit for a big four-day tour next week…  Still, when you look at my mileage production by day, most days are an hour or less with some really long days mixed in there.  A couple of hours on Tuesdays, a few hours each on Saturday and Sunday.  On the other hand, and again to be fair, there’s no doubt I’m a little kooky about cycling so let’s dial it back for normal folks…  Call it an hour a day, six days a week…  Carry the one…  Okay, it works out to a pound and three-quarters a week.  You’re going to take the winter off (and watch what you eat over the winter, ahem)…  That’s three months, call it twelve weeks…  70 pounds in a year, an hour a day, six days a week.  If one were to ride a bike, call it an easy 15 mph pace (12 mph on a mountain bike) and if one were to limit one’s caloric intake to just what they need to sustain a sedentary lifestyle (that means you eat less and eat decent non-garbage food), you could technically drop from 300 pounds to 230 in a year.  You could go from 250 to 180.  Or, like me, you could go from 175 to 165 and not worry so much about what you eat (except for during those winter months).

The point is, I recommend freeing yourself from telling lies only you believe – those donut shop lies.  Anyone can get fit.  All it takes is a little willingness, a touch of honesty and a whole shit-ton of good times.  What, you were expecting “hard work” weren’t you?  Hell, if it was all hard work I’d be sitting on the couch with you.  I ride a bike because it’s fun and burgers are yummy.


Sometimes You Gotta Break the Rules, God Help Me, of Cycling…

I don’t ride with a saddlebag on my bike, haven’t for more than two years.  I wish I could lie and say it was the rules that made me get rid of it, but I can’t, kind of.  Saddlebags are quite acceptable in my neck of the woods, whether or not the guys at Velominati approve.

I got rid of my saddlebag because of Men in Black.  The movie.  Seriously.

I gave my saddlebag to my wife because my bike looked like a Ballchinian with a saddlebag on it.  It looks fine on her bike and truth be told, I’d still be using it if it looked that good on mine.

Last year I rode with all of my tools loose in my back pocket.  This year I have an awesome pack sold by Serfas that holds everything perfectly and fits excellently in my middle-back pocket.  No more sweaty money is an added bonus.

I don’t notice it there on a 50 mile ride. I do on a 100 but I can live with it.

With DALMAC coming up, and taking into account the fact that the four day 400 mile tour* is only SAG supported (no rest stops), I started thinking about what I want in my back pockets…  Food and maybe a rain jacket if rain is in the forecast and money… That’s about it really.  Do I want to carry my tools too?  Function is going to have to trump form for once…


I dug out my old mount and Specialized tool container…

I’ll give up a little in weight to a standard saddlebag, about a Quarter-Pounder’s worth in the mounting system, but I’ll take water proof when I’ve got my travel tools with me, any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Simple fact is, till I can afford a team car to look after mechanical issues, hundreds of miles from home, with no other option but quit for the day and call the chuck wagon or break a rule that wasn’t intended for the type of tour I’m going to take part in, well let’s just say I won’t lose any sleep over the infraction.

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

*DALMAC is a 400 mile tour but the group I ride with cuts the last 20 on the last day off…  There’s a silly little 20 mile loop that they stick on to the end of the fourth day that starts and ends at the finish to make the mileage work out that we lop off.  In other words, after 80 glorious miles along the most beautiful 80 miles of road in our entire State, they throw on a silly loop to make it an even 400.  I didn’t know when I signed up for the ride, but my friends cut that loop off, and I won’t be bothering with it either.  380 miles in four days is tough enough.