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“I Don’t Have the Time for Fitness”, and Other Donut Shop Lies…


August 2015

You’ve either heard it or said it.  “I don’t have time to go to the gym.”  “I don’t have time to work out.”

I’ve heard them all and said a few myself, including “I don’t have time to go to the gym.”  These are donut shop lies, the lies we tell others while we’re sitting on the stool in the donut shop.  I did, of course, have time to go to the gym.  I hate the frickin’ gym and there’s no way I’m wasting my money on a gym membership.  At least that’s honest.

I do, on the other hand, have time for fitness.  This is my cycling mileage for 2015:

2015 Mileage

That works out to about 5,300 miles.  Or, to break that down by calorie consumption, 300,000 (give or take).  That works out to about 85 pounds worth of calories.  My average speed over those miles was, on the low-end, 18.5 mph…  Divide 5,300 by 18.5, divide that by 34 weeks into the year…  8 hours a week.  On average.

8 hours a week, albeit 8 fast hours, and I can burn through 85 pounds in 8 months.

To be fair, I hardly put in any miles in January and February and my late spring and summer months are stacked, so that should be taken into account.  Still, my longest week on the bike only worked out to two hours a day on average.  Let’s look at this by day though, because this tells a great story too:

Mileage By Day

Mileage By Day II

I didn’t include this last week or so because I’m tapering a little bit for a big four-day tour next week…  Still, when you look at my mileage production by day, most days are an hour or less with some really long days mixed in there.  A couple of hours on Tuesdays, a few hours each on Saturday and Sunday.  On the other hand, and again to be fair, there’s no doubt I’m a little kooky about cycling so let’s dial it back for normal folks…  Call it an hour a day, six days a week…  Carry the one…  Okay, it works out to a pound and three-quarters a week.  You’re going to take the winter off (and watch what you eat over the winter, ahem)…  That’s three months, call it twelve weeks…  70 pounds in a year, an hour a day, six days a week.  If one were to ride a bike, call it an easy 15 mph pace (12 mph on a mountain bike) and if one were to limit one’s caloric intake to just what they need to sustain a sedentary lifestyle (that means you eat less and eat decent non-garbage food), you could technically drop from 300 pounds to 230 in a year.  You could go from 250 to 180.  Or, like me, you could go from 175 to 165 and not worry so much about what you eat (except for during those winter months).

The point is, I recommend freeing yourself from telling lies only you believe – those donut shop lies.  Anyone can get fit.  All it takes is a little willingness, a touch of honesty and a whole shit-ton of good times.  What, you were expecting “hard work” weren’t you?  Hell, if it was all hard work I’d be sitting on the couch with you.  I ride a bike because it’s fun and burgers are yummy.



  1. garym6059 says:

    I’m not quite the avid cyclist you are, but I do walk about 10-12 miles a week and it’s refreshing for sure, plus I can enjoy a good burger and not have to worry about it packing on my ass!

  2. tischcaylor says:

    Love that last line!

  3. Tracey says:

    Love it!!! Donut Shop Lies! 🙂 I love the gym, sometimes I am torn between riding and working out. Which one wins depends on what I did the day before.

  4. Dan In Iowa says:

    I don’t have time to NOT ride! It’s almost as essential to my well being as breathing is. OK….that’s a bit of hyperbole, but it IS vital. I’m lethargic, apathetic and just down when I’m not riding. That’s probably equal parts physical and emotional.

  5. A fellow gym hater, hurrah!

  6. The Guat says:

    I love your title! Donut shop lies! Ha! That cracked me up. I admire you dedication to bike riding it’s become more a part of your lifestyle than a “workout at the gym”. And yes sometimes we do have to do these things because burgers are yummy…burgers and brownies…and champagne 🙂

  7. Chatter says:

    Great dedication my friend. I feel the exact same about running.

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