I can still remember seeing Star Wars: A New Hope (Episode IV) for the first time when it came out. It was, without a doubt, the most amazing motion picture my young eyes had ever seen. My mom and Aunt Ann took my brothers and I. I was seven years-old.
Here we are, I’m 38 years older and I can’t wait till the crowds thin enough to see the new Force Awakens
I owned the original three on VHS tapes. Then I bought the newly remastered edition on VHS (and saw the movies in the theater as they were released). Finally, I bought the remastered DVD box set when they came out. Then I bought the next three as they came out – the Special Edition wide-screen versions.
Then, after we bought the home we live in now, I picked up a Bose 5.1 Surround Sound system so I could get the most out of my viewing experience. More than ten years old, it’s still pure movie watching perfection. The bass is sick and turning the sound up to just 50% on the race scene in A Phantom Menace shakes the house.
I can still remember forcing myself to dream about Star Wars when I was a kid, placing myself in the action…
In preparation for seeing the new movie, I’ve dug out the last six movies to watch them yet again… If it is possible to wear out a DVD just by watching it, I’ll surely know. I’ve seen the original in excess of 40 times over the years, more than that for The Empire Strikes Back (add two more to the total just this week) and the rest I’ve seen dozens of times each.
I came home early from the office, the last two days. It appears my daughter picked up some form of Ebola from school and managed to pass the gift on. This has presented an excellent opportunity to get ahead of the Star Wars game for the eventual day when we see the new one on the biggest screen in the county.
So, taking the cue from a friend who produced a similar post, I thought I’d quickly jot down my ranking for the first six:
6. Return of the Jedi: Too corny. (VI)
5. The Phantom Menace: Other than wanting to dissect Jar-Jar Binks with a lightsaber, I loved this one (especially on the home theater) (I)
4. The Attack of the Clones (II)
3. The Revenge of the Sith (III): The only part I can’t stand in this movie is when Obi Wan, talking to Padme, says “Younglings”. Should have done that take one more time, George.
2. A New Hope (IV): I have a tough time not putting this one in third, but it was an enormous part of my childhood so I’ve gotta give it its due.
1. The Empire Strikes Back (V)
A young lady, with whom I ether-chat regularly about all things bicycle, is nervous as a long-tail cat in a room full of grannies on rocking chairs about working on her bike (actually this generalization applies to many women I know who ride, including my wife). Now the reasons for this fear are not genetic, I know plenty of guys who won’t work on bikes out of fear as well. After having worked through this myself, I think the fear is the problem. Fear of messing something up, fear of taking too long, fear of consternation, fear of having to take a messed up bike to the shop… Fear, fear, fear.
What to expect when you know nothing about fixing a bike.
I’ve written two lengthy series on bike repair. I’ve researched bike maintenance ad nauseam. I still run into things that confound me. Take truing a wheel for instance… I can take a mild wobble out in a few seconds but I still have to take my wheels into the shop every now and again to have them trued properly because I’m so lousy at it. The answer to this is to rent one of the mechanics at the shop for an hour or two so I can learn from one of the best. On the other hand, there are other simple items that just took taking action – simply going for it. I’ve covered all of the easy stuff in other posts (see the links above). For this post I want to explore the more important fear issues.
First things first, you need to expect to be slow. If you watch one of the mechanics adjust the index on your rear derailleur, you will notice that it takes him about ten seconds. If you try it, it could take ten minutes. My first attempt took more than an hour and I had my shifting so messed up that I almost caved and took the bike to the shop. Once I figured out the sequence of steps though, once I figured out what I was doing, that all-afternoon event took five minutes. Then three. Two… Now I’m down to ten to 30 seconds – and that drop in time comes about quickly. Adjusting the brakes on my mountain bike was another of those ridiculously simple tasks that should have taken a couple of minutes. My first attempt took about a half an hour.
Look at it this way, when you took your first high school Algebra class, did you take Algebra I or did they throw you right into Calculus? Better yet, did you start on the first chapter of that Algebra book, or half-way through the book? We all started on that first chapter, whatever math class, and we built upon that knowledge. If we’re starting from scratch, it’s going to take a minute and some messing up before we gain the knowledge needed to make this easy.
How to cheat at bicycle maintenance.
There is a cheat to bicycle maintenance, and I’m going to let you in on the secret. It’s not cheap, until you figure in the long run. I have purchased five brand new bicycles ranging in price from $600 to $3,000 from one bike shop in the last three years. I buy the bulk of my family’s cycling clothing from that shop. I’ve bought six sets of high-end clipless pedals, an amazing array of bottle cages, water bottles, chains, cassettes, tires, tubes… Folks, I made myself one of the owner’s most reliable customers. It was easy to do this, though I could have saved some money shopping online, because our families actually have a history (the owner’s brother was my gym teacher 35 years ago). Not only that, as I became more of a regular fixture at the shop, as I came to know, befriend and ride with many of the mechanics and the owner, the great service that I had received became stellar.
Being a good customer has its benefits. First, you should get preferential treatment (not because of the amount spent but because you are a good customer – very important distinction there. A pompous a-hole will be waiting two months for their bike to get fixed even if they purchased the BMC-Lamboghini hyper-bike). Also, the mechanics will often let me in the back so I can watch how they fix my bikes. This, for me, is a huge benefit, being able to see someone fix something using the proper sequence, quickly. Get to know the people at your local shop. That’s the cheat.
Know thy sequence. And bikes are not cars. They’re designed to be fixed easily.
Bicycles are not like cars, they’re designed to be fixed simply. Some fixes require special tools (or a special tool will make a repair easier) but for the most part, you can fix most bike problems with a good set of Allen wrenches and a pair of needle-nose pliers. Some maintenance can be accomplished with no tools at all, like the rear derailleur adjustment or trimming the brakes (we use barrel adjusters for both). It’s all about the sequence. Get the sequence wrong and a 20 second adjustment can take half an hour. The problem, then, is not in knowing how to adjust a derailleur, it’s knowing the sequence to that adjustment and then how to do the adjustment.
To understand sequencing a bike repair, the first thing I recommend is the Bike Repair App. The app is not free but it will save you triple the cost of the app the first time you adjust the index on your derailleur (correctly, the first time, in a matter of seconds) without having to take the bike to the shop. You get Tips and Tricks that cover everything from maintenance to safety. You get guides to work on just about anything that can go wrong on a bike, a section on What to Wear in a given weather condition or temperature and even a complete glossary. Oh, and the app’s repair guides are photographical how-to’s. You can’t go wrong with that app, well not that I’ve encountered anyway.
The “bikes are not cars” axiom doesn’t always seem so sometimes. Internal cable routing (where the bike’s cables are routed inside a frame) and rear brakes mounted under the chain stays at the bottom bracket add some interesting challenges but those challenging items are still easier than fixing a thermostat or front brakes in a car or truck. Consider, aligning a mountain bike’s hydraulic disc brakes takes seconds… less time that it takes to retrieve the floor jack from the garage. Two bolts. You loosen the bolts center the brake, you tighten the bolts. The only trick, of course, is you have to know which bolts.
If you’re overwhelmed, start easy and work up to the trickier repairs. Before you know it, you’ll be able to make your bike look like this:
…Without worrying about how you’ll get it back together. As I’ve reiterated many times before, you can’t break the bike by trying to adjust or maintain it, bad enough the shop can’t fix what you did.
The main thing is to get that awkward, slow phase out of the way as soon as possible and the only way to do that is start now. Get the app and a nail brush to get the grease out from underneath your nails and get dirty.
After all, you can’t put 6,000 miles on a bike in a year without regular adjustments and a good bit of maintenance. You almost assuredly can’t. Your bike will be in the shop all the time, waiting to be fixed.