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Fit Recovery on Being Content Vs. Settling

December 2015
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Contemplate, for a moment, going into the new year the difference between being content and settling.

Contentment is simply being happy with one’s place on this rock, and not in a capacity whereby we are fertilizing the grass.  Contentment is the goal even though the end zone is constantly changing.

Settling is acceptance on a lower level.  Settling is hoping for contentment. Settling is lazy and afraid.

My wife and I tackled some exceptionally difficult marriage issues yesterday.  No trouble between the two of us but the issues could become problems without some intensive communication.  I had some bad dreams last night as a result and I normally don’t even remember my dreams.  They were so intense that I chose to wake up at 3 this morning rather than risk more unsettled dreams.  I know when this happens things are not okay with me.

Settling would be trying to brush that under the rug, hoping it would go away while the path to contentment is handling those issues head on.  Today, while getting ready to take the kids to swim practice I asked my wife if we could set aside some time to pray together later this afternoon.  She agreed and we are both looking forward to healing together so we can get back on the right path, to work through this together and grow from what could have been an otherwise ugly situation left unchecked.

This isn’t a New Year thing.  This is a Thursday thing.

Fear hates the light of day.  Fear needs dark to fester.  Fear needs shadows. 

Given the shadows in our mind, fear can grow to consume everything that is good to a point where it creates it’s own shadows.  For my wife and I, prayer is a 2 Billion Lumen cleansing spotlight that allows no room for fear to hide.

In the scheme of things, what we’re dealing with is small.  It could be looked at as not even worthy if not for the knowledge that it’s the small things that are swept under the rug that eventually turn into mounds big enough to trip us when we aren’t paying attention.  Better to drag out the spotlight and grow closer for the effort than risk tripping later on.

Being content is impossible in the presence of land mines.  Settling ensures that we would spend our waking hours tap dancing around them in the hope we don’t fall.  Content is dancing freely, looking each other in the eyes and getting lost in the joy of the embrace.

Just a thought on an otherwise good day.  Choose wisely and never settle, my friends.

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14 Comments

  1. Kecia says:

    Wise words my friend!! Wishing you and yours an awesome 2016!!

  2. Sheree says:

    Words of wisdom!
    Happy New Year to you both along with much happiness, heath success in 2016.

  3. Got to agree with you on the prayer and I am glad (and a bit jealous of you) that you two are able to handle the honesty it takes to pray together. That is something that could have (and still could) saved my own marriage had we been able to pray together. It’s the glue that holds my parents together, I know. They have been married over 50 years.

    • bgddyjim says:

      Thank you my friend, and the interesting point that I left out of the post is our ideas of what God is are very different. We had some very good guidance when we were still very, very young in our marriage.

      I still pray for you and your wife to find what you need to both be happy. I don’t get into specifics of course, because I have no clue what God has in store for you… Just that you find whatever it is. 😉

  4. James L says:

    Great thoughts – wishing you and your family the best for 2016!

  5. tischcaylor says:

    Good for you — both of you. Especially love that closing paragraph.

  6. Your words are so true… Prayers to you and your family. Fear is so tricky and can take over so quickly.

  7. The Guat says:

    Duuuuuuude what a great post!! I often struggled with contentment and settling, lines getting blurred and all…being happy with what you got vs. is this what you want scenarios. I love how you define these things and how you worked them out with the Mrs. You sent me a great reminder on my quest to find and keep my juice. Ha, but what I loved most, your best line … “This is not a New Year’s thing it’s a Thursday thing.” I was like YES! Ahhhhh loved it! Buen Camino my friend.

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