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Home » Cycling » Social Problems with Being a Cyclist: It’s not Only the Genes, It’s the Jeans too…

Social Problems with Being a Cyclist: It’s not Only the Genes, It’s the Jeans too…

February 2016
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Being a cyclist, the days of putting on the socks after your jeans are over.  One must learn to dress from the ground up.

Why?

Well, unless you dress in sweat pants, in which case shame on you, getting your feet high enough to put on your socks after you’ve put a pair of blue jeans on is almost as difficult as trying to wrestle an alligator… but with no teeth trying to rip chunks of meat off of your bones.

If you’re a cyclist and haven’t run into this yet, pedal harder.  You will.

Being a cyclist presents one of those interesting social problems that most people simply aren’t prepared to deal with mentally.  You buy a bike thinking once you lose weight, it’ll be awesome because your clothes are going to fit better than they have in years.

So you get on your brand new bike and start pedaling.  You go from four miles being a major journey to forty being a walk in the park.  You drop weight like it’s going out of style and find that active dieting is a lot easier and more fun than dieting like everyone else has to.  You go out shopping for a new wardrobe, then you do it again…

Finally you hit that magic weight, your college or high school weight that you’ve been working for and you rejoice.

The celebration includes going out to buy a pair of skinny jeans.  You are pumped!

You head out to your favorite “I can’t shop there because I’m too fat” store, triumphantly take a pair of jeans that should be your size off the stand, march over to the fitting room, shut the door behind you with a “that’s right, bitches” attitude…  You’ve made it!

And you can’t get the leg over your calf muscle, let alone over your toned, enormous thigh.

That’s a worst case scenario of course… Still, if you think there’s a magic weight where everything will fit right and all will be wonderful, well just remember to put your socks on first.

Such is the life.  It works if you work it.  It won’t if you don’t.

*Disclaimer:  There is a way around this, especially for the ladies who don’t want bulk…  Easy gears and pedal fast.  All of the tone, less bulk.

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24 Comments

  1. bribikes says:

    Haha! Too true, my thighs seem to expand every time I look at them. No way am I gonna use easy gears though, I earned these legs 🙂 Of course, it isn’t to much of a hardship for me since off the bike I wear primarily skirts. I take the easy way out.

  2. Dan says:

    That’s why skinny jeans are not for us middle aged farts!! I buy dungarees at the farm/ranch store!! I don’t need to show off my legs until I put on spandex!

  3. Sophie vdA says:

    This post is so true! And not only the cycling sport, field hockey – and being a goalie then – has over the long run a similiar effect haha.
    But thanks for sharing! It makes me laugh a bit. I recognise it because I am a cyclist – and old field hockey goalie – too.

    Greetings by Sophie

  4. So... says:

    🙂 my skinny jeans are loose over the hip and a bit too snug over my calves and keep riding up. Can’t seem to find one that fits just right anymore!

  5. Never fart in skinny jeans.

  6. Tony says:

    Haven’t any of you folks tried Costco? They sell the best jeans under the Kirkland brand for around $20. Been buying them for years. Of course, I don’t include fashion into my jeans-buying equation. I thought I read that skinny jeans were out anyway.

    • bgddyjim says:

      To tell you the truth Tony, I don’t know whether they’re in or out, I was WAY too old for those. My jeans are a little more fashionable than Kirkland’s though I do have a Costco membership and a Costco about a half-mile from my office. My experience with the Costco/Old Navy cheap jeans is not good – the sizing is usually terrible and varies from one pair to the next. Kirkland may be different but I’m not going to go out of my way to try them out.

  7. Roelski says:

    Went shopping for new pants the other day. The shop attendant said to me, after trying 3 different brands: “We’ll try another brand that leaves more room for you sporty legs…”

    If it wasn’t for my wife, I’d replied “Is the missus having any plans tonight?!”. Instead, I mumbled to my other half something like “See, I should shave them – they’d look even better”…

    Best.Day.Of.The.Year.

    • bgddyjim says:

      They do look better shaved too… Chances are your wife will dig it (mine does). Bite the bullet, brother. Shave those guns! You’ll probably be even faster!

  8. MJ Ray says:

    Most clothes are made for the average and the average is currently idle 😦

    • bgddyjim says:

      Too true. Nothing is worse than trying to buy a shirt off the rack if you don’t pack a hefty beer gut too… Drives me up a wall. I think they call that a first world problem though. 😉

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