I have several rules, irrespective of the greater Velominati Rules, that I live by. I’ve been thinking about this post for quite a while and think I’ve got it fairly nailed down, though I’m certain additions will be necessary.
These are not rules meant for you to follow, if you read the title carefully… Did you notice that “I” in there? I am simply offering them so others may digest them as they see fit.
In no particular order:
1. Ride in a manner that puts a smile on my face. I don’t care how anyone else thinks one should ride, or what style of bike should be ridden. I ride hard, fast and on pavement on a ridiculously expensive and lightweight bicycle. That’s what makes me smile.
2. A clean, lubed bike is a quiet, fast bike. I keep my bikes clean and sharp because they look awesome and ride better.
3. Look good, ride good. This is not rocket science.
4. Have a backup bike for crappy weather. This is an important rule for me. I don’t want to gunk up my good bike so I keep a decent rain bike.
5. Saddlebags are ugly. I would keep one on my rain bike but it’s not necessary. I have a pouch that fits everything in my back pocket. No bag necessary. While I am not opposed in the least to them on other’s bikes, they look ugly on my Venge.
6. Rest is what you do between daily bike rides. I believe in rest days. One. A month. Between May and October. And maybe rain days. If I don’t feel like getting wet.
7. Anything less that 19 mph for an average is active recovery. Period.
8. Do thy best to support thy mates in a pace line. One of my favorite lines I’ve ever written about cycling is, “I’d rather flame out, blow up, bonk and get dropped than hide at the back of the pack.” There is nobility in hiding when riding above one’s capability but even so, I have a tough time not taking my turn save a few times a year.
9. Black and Red. It took me a long time to get here, a journey through red, white and blue notwithstanding, the road bikes shall be red on black. That color scheme is amazing. And awesome. And cool.
10. Bikes are the best, most cost effective way to celebrate one’s midlife crisis. I ride the equivalent of a Ferrari. It cost 100 times less than a Ferrari. Oh, and a tune up on my bike costs about a hundred bucks. A tune up on a Ferrari? Meh, about $30,000. In other words, a bike runs on fat. A sports car runs on my wallet.
11. Suit up. Even I, the great and powerful Bgddy, run into a case of the “f*** its” from time to time. Not surprisingly, it’s usually below freezing outside when that case shows up. As long as I suit up, I’ll make it out the door and I’ll be in better shape for it.
12. Spending good money on good equipment is worth it. While deals can be found, spending the money on good equipment is worth the investment. Feeling like I’m riding on barbed wire because I decided to spend $30 on a pair of bottom-of-the-line cycling shorts is not money well spent. That pain is unnecessary.
13. Coffee. Lots.
14. Don’t be an @$$hole. I’d bet every club out there has at least one. Some I’ve read about are infested with them. I shall not contribute to that caucus.
15. Thy guns shall be gleaming. I shave the guns, toes to cheek. It doesn’t matter that it’s faster or “pro”, both of which are true. It looks right and my wife digs it… Until I run her out of hot water knocking down the forest.
16. It’s all about the fun. Life is too damn short to worry about a bunch of damned rules. This post is book-ended by the same rule: Thou shalt enjoy thy ride.