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Naked Cycling?!  Damn, the Roads are Dangerous Enough as it is, Dopey!


I read a post yesterday about the World Naked Bike Ride.  In Montreal.  Ah, those Canucks [Oh, my…  I did a little research (chuckle), I guess it really is kind of a World Wide thing… as long as you don’t include certain parts of the world.  You know, because in certain parts of the world they’d kill you deader than a doornail, especially women, for riding a bike naked) – basically, it occurs only in developed societies that will put up with such nonsense].

Anyway, it’s about what you’d think.  Paraphrasing: We need to ride our bikes around naked because, err… umm… environmentalism, silly!

Oh, I had a laugh at that, you know I did.

Then there was some pap about desexualizing the human body (technically, if we all got fat, wouldn’t that achieve the same thing, only faster and more effectively?).  Anywho, here’s my comment on the post, because it made me laugh even harder as I wrote it:

I clicked on the post, because nude. And cycling. ‘Bout as good as it gets, eh? I also got about what I expected too. More lame excuses to run around naked, just because. The notion that riding a bike in the buff is about environmentalism is laughable. Oh, and that bit about “desexualizing the body”? Good luck with that, and pass the popcorn while you’re at it.

But whatever, you want to bare the breasts? More power to you, I’ll look at ’em. You know what they say about boobs, “Once you’ve seen one pair… you want to see the rest of ’em.”

Hat tip to Ron White, of course, for pointing out the blatantly obvious.  Either way, if it ever gets to a point where I am the last sane human on this planet, I will admire boobs.  I will support boobs.  I will support women with boobs (and without for that matter) and their willingness to leave the shirt at home should they choose.  And if you think my eyes wander to the cleavage now (as is the case with both men and women – scientifically speaking), you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.  The day will never come when I treat my wife as an asexual being.  She’s my smokin’ hot babymama (in the Elvis sense of the word) for life – though I may slow down when I hit my 90’s.  I know there will be people out there who won’t take my view of things and humorously enough, will try to make me out as a child for my view.  They are the anti-science, anti-reality children though.  The adults are quite happy running around the house nude, as long as the kids are away at grandma’s house.

Of course, beyond that, lets talk about naked cycling and… chafing.  Good Lord!  Somebody wasn’t thinking!

To wrap this ridiculous post up, they actually have one of these silly things in Portland, Oregon.  There’s a website for it and it looked like there were about twelve to fifteen riders – I didn’t want to look too close.  Sheesh.  Anyway, there’s also a Wikipedia page set up for the whole thing, with photos even…  Let’s just say at least one of them didn’t get the memo on the whole “desexualization” thing.

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8 Comments

  1. Gail says:

    Oh, Lord. I really enjoyed reading this…..In Canada’s defense, there are a lot of us that don’t count Montreal as part of Canada. Not because we dislike Quebec, far from it. Only because this province has been mewling loudly for over four decades about how they want to leave Canada. They are called Separatists. Personally, no matter how much I love the province, I’ve never been one to cling. Anyway, if they want to ride nude and get sunburn, as well as the obvious chafing that you mentioned, they should definitely have at it. LOL!

    It’s downright amazing what people will use as an excuse to do anything naked in public. Yep…environmentalism…..thanks so much for my afternoon chuckle!!!

    • bgddyjim says:

      Thanks Gail, and you’re welcome at the same time. I really don’t get the whole nudist movement. Ah well. Anyway, Canadians don’t corner the market on crazy, I just like to complain about them because so many complain about the US. 😉

  2. I’m going to be five and ask… Why? Why? And again… Why?

  3. sarahdudek80 says:

    Haha, I love Ron White. Everything he says cracks us up. I don’t know what we will do on road trips when Mary is old enough to comprehend and we can’t listen to his acts!

  4. unironedman says:

    I’d give it a go in Ireland but the cold would kill you before the cars got a chance.
    P.S. If Noobs are newbie cyclists, are Boobs nudie cyclists?

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