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Toad Bikes are WAY Slower than Stationary Bikes

August 2016

Someone searched this, to get to a post of mine:  “How much slower is a toad bike than a stationary bike”.  This earth-shatteringly important question is worth my serious commentary.


This is a Road Bike, not a Toad Bike…


First, let me say that, while toad bikes are definitely slow, actually teaching a toad to ride a toad bike is much slower.

My work with toads, while rarely noted on this blog, is extensive… we have a pond in the back yard.  Now, as I’ve said, toad bikes are slow but even slower is trying to jump through all of the regulatory hurdles needed to actually build toad bikes.  Folks, it’s nightmarish.

That said, toad bikes, contrary to popular misunderstanding and as slow as they are, are decidedly faster that a stationary bike.  Dude, a stationary bike is for stationary.

A simple Google search of the Definition of “Stationary” turns up the following:

sta·tion·ar·y ˈstāSHəˌnerē/noun.  1.  writing paper.

Now let’s be very clear here.  We can’t make a bicycle for stationary as stationary doesn’t have legs.  Just wanted to get that out of the way.  Oh, and technically that would be stationery, not stationary.  Crazy, I know.

So, that sorted (or would that be sordid? I digress), the actual definition of Stationary is:

adjective. not moving or not intended to be moved

So by definition, even taking into account how slow toad bikes are, because a stationary bike doesn’t move at all, a toad bike would still be faster.

For the sake of brevity, I won’t even get into why we should concentrate on toad biking in a safe environment for the toads – they’re just too small to be safe on the roads.

Next up I’ll examine, in far too great a depth, what’s faster; a stationary bike or a fountain bike.  Gotta love that part of the Stats page that shows some of the search terms used to get to your page.


  1. unironedman says:

    Great article. I laughed when I reddit…

  2. But it’s not true that toad bikes give you warts

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