My father used to have a funny fixation when it came to excrement, especially (and a bit oddly) when it came to $#!++!ng in one’s own hand. For instance he’d say, “Put your intentions in one hand and $#!+ in the other. Tell me which one fills first.”
One doesn’t need a degree in rocket sciencery to figure out where that one is going. Either way, you end up with a handful of $#!+.
My dad used that little thought experiment on me quite a bit, though thankfully he wasn’t a heathen… I never actually had to demonstrate, for posterity’s (ahem) sake, which one indeed filled up first.
Recovery was another lesson in that thought experiment. Fortunately by that time I knew what was up. I didn’t need my dad’s help to set it up: Put your intention to stay sober in one hand…
When I went all chubby on myself, guess what? Well, that one took a minute to figure out. “I’ll never run. I hate running, but I can’t rollerblade except down at the park… I’ll have to find a route with decent enough roads…”
Put your intention to get fit in one hand and $#!+ in the other… Dammit
“I should ride my bike around the block, or go for a walk, or go for a run… Tomorrow.”
Rinse (vigorously) and repeat.
I had to keep it simple. Either do it or don’t. Or I can $#!+ in my hand.
I’ll pass on $#!++!ng in one hand.
Ah, the Yoda way! “Try not. Do!”
My dad was awesome! Yoda, indeed.
Ha. That’s a good way of putting things in perspective when you’re unsure about something. I like that tough, but not so tough, attitude. And duuuuuuude I agree, it totally does sound like Yoda! Glad it worked out for you 🙂