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Home » Humor » Liberal Preppers are loading up on Granola, Tofu… and Guns and Ammo in the Event of a Trumpocalypse?  Welcome to the Club Boys and Girls!  

Liberal Preppers are loading up on Granola, Tofu… and Guns and Ammo in the Event of a Trumpocalypse?  Welcome to the Club Boys and Girls!  

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Seriously?  According to reports, it’s true!  It appears liberals/progressives (I repeat myself) around the US are flocking to gun stores to get their Trumpocalypse firearm and load up on ammo while they’re at it. 

We can gloss over the irony that it’s about time liberals discovered that the Second Amendment to the Constitution covers more than recreational hunting but let’s not get too crappy, eh?  ‘Tis a reason to celebrate!.  No need to point out that if Republicans hadn’t blocked their attempts to block that Amendment, they’d be stocking up on sticks, stones and Rambo knives.  Oh wait!  Would those be Rambo knives recategorized as “assault knives”?!  So make it “sticks, stones and butter knives”.

I digress!  Let’s look at the positives!  And I’ll offer you new whipper-snappers a tip or two, you know…. so you don’t accidentally kill yourself (or someone else)!

  • We’re a little hysterical right now, so let’s take a deep breath.  Oooooommmmm… Okay, calm?  A person who voted for Donald Trump  and happens to be disagreeing with you in a conversation is not a threat on your life or safety.  That means you can’t actually shoot someone for disagreeing with you or for voting for Donald Trump.  This may come as a surprise to you with all of the fake news out there in the New York Times, Washington Post, and coming out of NPR or your average ultra-liberal professor but it’s true.  You cannot kill someone for not liking Big Government.  
  • The place for your pistol is not in the drawer or under your pillow if you have kids.  “I told him/her not to go into my room” won’t bring them back.  The pistol goes in a nice little quick access safe on the night stand.
  • It will cost you $10,000 minimum in court/attorney costs if you’re caught pulling your weapon in public.  If you shoot a person, even in true, blatant, obvious self-defense, $100,000 minimum in defense costs.  You can’t afford the defense, so you better be sure before you even think of brandishing that weapon because you’re going into court with a public defender and a life sentence is a loooong time.  Again, a “he/she hurt my feelings” defense will get you 25 to life.
  • Practice, at a legitimate firearm range, drawing, aiming, and firing your pistol.  Become comfortable with your firearm.  Become a good shot.  Learn which end is the business end.  Learn where “the bullets go”.  Practice.
  • Being able to purchase a firearm does not allow one to carry it on their person in a concealed fashion.  You need a special permit or license for that depending on your State Law – this goes to that “well regulated” part, and that goes (by design, ladies and gentlemen) by State.  In mine, I had to go through a special course to prove that I was proficient with my firearm (and contrary to fake news, not everyone will pass… a guy two stalls down was failed instantly when we all had to duck because he didn’t know enough to keep his weapon pointed down range or flat on the table in front of him).  
  • After the course and test, expect a background check from the FBI.  They put your fingerprints on file too.
  • Carrying a concealed firearm without a license is a felony in all but one State (I believe one made it legal to carry without a license, or is in the process of doing so) though many do allow open carry.  It’s my personal.preference to refrain from advertising though.
  • Now, for a few lighter tips.  Unlike many of y0ur liberal friends, we won’t give you $#!+ about purchasing a firearm or showing up at a range.  We’ll welcome you to the club because that’s what we do.  It’s about the Amendment and the Right, not you.  Please learn from this and treat us accordingly – no need to try to shut down the firearm range you practice at to assuage your guilt for being there.
  • Notice I used the words “pistol” and “firearm”, not “gun”?  You played with toy guns when you played Zombie Apocalypse in the backyard as a kid.  Pistols are not toys.  Period.
  • Hopefully this is where you realize all that hyperventilating by your side is silly and you’re at the point you’ve come to understand what an incredible responsibility owning a firearm is.  Honor that responsibility, please.

    Finally, to wrap this up, we on the right freaked out a little bit when President Obama was elected in ’08 so I can dig that you lefties are a touch discombooberated right now.  We survived Obama (for the most part) and you’ll survive eight years of Trump (heh)…. Unless you happen to be a bureaucrat, in that case, Vaya con Dios. I hope that new post in Nome, Alaska is a peach.  Bring a warm jacket, eh.  

    It’s about damn time, too.

    With that, welcome to the club!

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    17 Comments

    1. Tony says:

      I wonder how many of those protesting the election grew up playing in sports where they got a trophy for showing up, not winning. Just a thought. I live in Chicago where the loonies are protesting by picketing the Trump building here. Amazing.

    2. unironedman says:

      You feeding the trolls again, Jim? Badger baiting has been illegal here in Ireland since about 1842, but apparently you can still harass harmless Democrats in the US. 😉
      Whilst we’re takin’ the mickey (as we say here in the Emerald Isle), I’ve had a good look through my Pantone swatch here in the office, and I reckon Trump is somewhere around the Pantone 130 mark. Apparently Oracle use it in their JavaOne logo, along with Pantone 541. I know. Us graphic designers are great craic altogether!

      • bgddyjim says:

        No, definitely not feeding trolls… Our Second Amendment has ALWAYS about keeping the people armed so the government can’t overpower us. These newer liberals are coming to understand this, finally, and that’s exactly what I’m celebrating. I don’t care how they get there, as long as they get there. In that way, Donald Trump could be the best thing to come along for the Second Amendment to come around in a long time.

        As for “harmless”, Democrats are rarely that.

        As for the Pantone stuff, I have absolutely no clue what you wrote. Google and I are going to need a minute. 😆

      • bgddyjim says:

        Got it! I figured he was a little more orange than that, personally. Either way, how about Melania?!

        • unironedman says:

          Yeah, I’d forgotten about Melania. Mind you, with that figure, you can cope with the colour a bit better. Not your average First Lady for sure!

        • bgddyjim says:

          Yeah, I was going with the latter point… Humorously, our fashion media has decided, even though she’s easily the most beautiful First Lady we’ve ever had, they won’t be covering her like they did Michelle Obama. Simply because she’s married to Trump.

          So, when you take the animus that we to the right of center must deal with on a daily basis, well that’s why I push back every now and again. 😉

        • unironedman says:

          Check out Enda Kenny’s missus…

        • bgddyjim says:

          Good God, man! Somebody get her a bicycle, STAT!

          (without delay : immediately )

        • unironedman says:

          Ah yeah, I know the old stat one alright. But the only bike we want here is the one Enda should jump on. As in, “on yer bike, Enda…”
          Suffice to say, he ain’t that popular.

    3. saoirsek says:

      You guys are funny 😂

    4. wanderwolf says:

      A good PSA… and that’s coming from one of your granola loving, tree hugging liberals. I respect the wish to carry a firearm, I just want the owner to use it responsibly.
      I’m not sure if I agree, though, that the gun is necessary to protect against government. But I do think it’s someone’s right to arm themselves the way they want.

      • bgddyjim says:

        I want for the owner to not need to use it in the first place, but that’s the whole point behind having it in the first place.

        As for the actual right to bear arms, what is the first thing oppressive regimes do… right before the seize control of a government? Use Hitler or Stalin or Mussolini or Chavez as examples. Mao… we could go on if you wish. They take away the guns.

        Having a healthy distrust of government, as the Founders did, is a very good thing. Just ask Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

    5. Ravn Thor says:

      Hi jim,
      check out my blog. I don’t really see myself as a liberal, but I suppose I’m one of those people you’re talking about. I hope by taking a gander at my blog objectively you can see where I’m coming from and be open to seeing from another’s perspective.
      All the best!
      -Ravn

      transgenderprepper.wordpress.com
      “Regardless of ones politics—what all of us Preppers have in common is our desire for self-preservation and protecting our families. I may not see eye-to-eye with other preppers and their politics, but I respect their tenacity and wisdom when it comes to surviving. We may all be preparing for different scenarios—some may happen sooner than others and some may never happen at all—but we all want to live.
      I hope that my blog can empower other queer folk to prepare themselves during this dark time. I also hope that my blog can bridge an understanding with other Preppers so that we can each share with one another tips and knowledge on how to best survive our own apocalypses—whatever and whenever they may be.”

      • bgddyjim says:

        We are going to disagree on quite a bit, especially on the notion that this is a dark time. I don’t know how old you are, but I’m old enough to remember the Reagan years – another dark time for liberals. They, liberals, were so stuck on being jaded they missed one of, if not the, most prosperous times in American history. Just remember this when they pull that lever – in world history, it’s not those who believe in the freedom of the people who turn into dictators. In world history, the first thing dictators do is take away the public’s right to own a firearm. The second is to torch religion. The next is to burn their Constitution because “It’s out of touch with the modern era”. Then you’re done.

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