I love to make light of recovery. At first, there was simply too much pain. I can remember being jealous of those who could laugh while I was such a mess. It’s easier now that I’m a little older.
For those who question whether or not I can drink, when I really don’t want to go through the process of explaining that I’m an alcoholic, or for those who don’t need to know that I’m recovering, I go with the tried and true, “I’m allergic. My liver doesn’t work like most people’s and if I drink alcohol, my liver just can’t process it right and eventually it’ll shut down.” I just leave out the part about drinking so much that my liver literally can’t keep up.
For those I can trust I usually go with, “The whole State of Michigan wanted me to quit drinking – it said so on all of the paperwork… The People of the State of Michigan vs. James L… I simply complied.”
I heard a new one last night that really got me going, and this one has a lot to do with the disease concept. Imagine a cancer patient. Now, imagine if cancer patients could stop their cancer if they simply went to a few meetings a week…. The line for those meetings would be out the door and into the street. That one wasn’t new to me, I’ve used the example a number of times in the past.
In that same vain, and using a cancer patient as the example again as one would relate to the “Are You sure You’re an Alcoholic” question; Imagine you’re talking to a cancer patient and you ask, “Are you sure you have cancer? Maybe you were just going through a phase.”
At that point the cancer patient says, “Yeah, we’re going to wait until that Stage Two cancer progresses to Stage Three or Four and then treat it. You know, once it’s really aggressive and jumping to different parts of my body. Just to make sure.”
Said nobody, ever. You treat it and move on. Anyway, I liked the way that put things in perspective. I am a recovering alcoholic and I can have all of my misery back, in a hurry. All I have to do is take a drink.