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Does My @$$ Make Me Look Fat? And Other Fun Questions


I felt like a fat@$$ all summer long.  I’ve been topping the scales, in the afternoon when I’m lightest, at 180-181 for most of the year.  This isn’t all bad.  Some of that’s muscle because I’m a fair order stronger this year than I was last, and I did a fair bit of weight training during the off season last year as well – and even at 180, I’m still in the healthy range for any measure of BMI (new or old), and I’m even better off with the newfangled curve they have out now…

Still, my love handles, which at more like little lumps, were bitching at me when I looked in the mirror.  Nice, wide shoulders, fantastically muscular legs – and a midsection that is a lot less than impressive.

I have a problem with food, actually have for a while.  My problem is that I like eating it.  I have another problem;  I don’t smoke, so my taste buds actually work.

Anyway, you’d think a guy who rides 8,000+ miles a year on a bicycle would be thin as a rail, right?  Well, not when you eat like I do, you wouldn’t.  I love me a good burger.

That said, I decided to get a little drastic a while back and actually go on a bit of a diet and I’ve managed to drop somewhere between six and ten pounds, simply by eating a little more wisely, and that’s weighing myself in the morning too – I’m lighter in the afternoon, after I’ve ridden and rehydrated.

Eating wisely, when I’ve got the best excuse to eat whatever crosses my mind as “yummy”, isn’t always easy.  I still struggle at the gas station, when I’m picking up my morning coffee.  There’s a donut rack just five paces to the southeast of the coffee pots.  I still have to avert my eyes from the wonderful looking tobacco products on the wall, because I’d rather not stink like charred ass or have my mouth fall apart from chewing on tobacco instead of smoking it.  I flat-out avoid the alcohol aisle.  25 years sober and I still won’t go near it unless I can’t get around the aisle.

No, I am what I am, and I don’t tempt myself because I know the one truth that keeps me on the right path:  Spend enough time in a barbershop and you’re going to get a haircut sooner or later.

I stay out of the barbershop.


  1. saoirsek says:

    Personally I do my own hair…cancha tell🙂 I just mentioned this very minute to UM that I’d put a few kilos on, still at the lower range of my BMI but still. I often wonder what state I’d be in if I’d continued to drink…ugh. All I need is a bit of discipline and up the visits to the gym. Oh and maybe that new bike! Happy Christmas to you and all the gang Jim!

  2. The Omil says:

    You won’t be alone on this one. Without turning it into a religion, I try to stick to the ‘if it looks like it owes more to the chemist than the farmer – eat less of it’ principle.

  3. theandyclark says:

    Welcome to the unending struggle. I’m pretty happy where I’m at, but the love handles continue to taunt me every now and then. I’ll give you a really, really strange thought. If you did 8,000 miles at 10 mph you would lose weight – you wouldn’t have time to eat.

  4. Gail says:

    Love your title. A similar phrase is sometimes said to me by clients and friends: “Does this dress make me look fat?” To quote Joan Rivers, I always retort: Nope, it’s that cupcake that makes you look fat.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family!

  5. joliesattic says:

    Yes and you’re still young. It is a struggle as we age. We can be toned everywhere but those “love handles” are obstinate.

  6. […] lose weight but allow themselves to cheat once in a while. As a fellow blogger wisely said in an outstanding post: “…I don’t tempt myself because I know the one truth that keeps me on the right […]

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