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Home » Cycling » …and the Cold Hangs around like a Gnarly, Stale Fart

…and the Cold Hangs around like a Gnarly, Stale Fart


I could go on about farting all day, because farts are funny… right up till you start talking about this extended freaking winter we’ve been dealing with here in the northern Midwest. Of course, it could be worse, say New York or Boston?

We hammered out almost 39 miles yesterday morning. The temp didn’t rise above freezing until the last ten miles. Normal temps, we oughta be riding around in leg warmers and arm warmers, not two layers for the legs, three for the chest, neck gaiter, hat, ski gloves… You get the freaking idea.

There is a plus side to this stupid weather, though. I washed my car more than a week ago. It’s still clean. The sun has been awesome around here – and that’s just as rare as all of this stupid cold.

On the plus-side of the cold I figured out something big with how I’m going to handle my kit from now on.  First, I picked up a nice Specialized wind-proof jacket on clearance a few weeks ago (normally $150, paid $52) and I’ve been big into the windproof outer layers for the last couple of months.  Normally, I’d wear a tight Under Armour base layer, then a thermal long-sleeve jersey and the rain/wind jacket.  That was okay down to 25 degrees but by the end of the ride I’d end up a little sweaty and cold – the little bit of sweat was sucking the heat out of me.  So I opted instead for a standard jersey, a looser running base layer, the thermal long-sleeve and then the rain/wind jacket.  What I ended up doing, without really knowing it, was layering wicking layer over wicking layer.

I wouldn’t classify what I’ve got as “warm” (in 24° or -4C temps) but it’s definitely comfortable enough that I don’t mind the cold as much.

That said, it’s going to be another rough morning.  Temps in the low 20’s, wind out of the east (curse you east wind).  It still beats the trainer.  By a lot.



  1. Tony says:

    As a fellow Midwesterner I couldn’t agree more about the extended winter. Actually, though, this is hardly the first. I seem to remember harboring these same thoughts every March for the past few years. While winter, per se, never really gets that bad here, it seems to keep its jackboot on the throat of springtime forever. Here’s to frost leaving.

  2. Farting while wearing tights is a bad thing. So is farting in church. I did both yesterday. Both seem to linger far too long. I blamed the church fart on the holy spirit.

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