I was on my Trek last evening after a full day of work, cruising down the road, the concerns of the day in the background for a short time. I wasn’t riding particularly fast, in fact I was into a bit of a headwind. I felt good, and thankful for recovery and my fitness.
I am grateful that I enjoy my life today.
It wasn’t always so, of course. My life used to be pain, fear, anger… wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then oblivion. But oblivion stopped working. More was the answer, I thought. If a lot isn’t enough, too much oughta be just right.
It was worse. Much worse. We’re not a glum lot though, and I surely won’t be dwelling on how “worse” it got, so moving on…
My main goal at the beginning of recovery was just to stop the pain. Then, once the pain subsided from rigorous stepwork, came working those same steps at the rest of my life. Then, when I’d finally made room in my melon, came happiness. After my metabolism took a long jump off a short pier, fitness – and recovery got a lot more enjoyable.
That’s about where I was in my melon when I hit the tailwind (that’s really how I think, a bit of the pattern, if you will). You know life is going well when you’re grateful bucking a headwind because when you finally hit a tailwind, it really gets fun.
I opted for bonus miles.
A shower, some pizza, water, water filtered through ground up coffee beans, and a couple of hours watching the TdF…
If it gets better than that, one day at a time, I don’t know how.
The goal for recovery shouldn’t be just to sober or clean up. That’s a first year goal, but recovery is meant to be bigger than quitting. I believe we are saved from addiction to enjoy this life, while we’ve got it, and pass on our experience to others that it might help them find happiness on the path as well.
Thou shalt enjoy the life that was saved.