Having seen more people come in out of the storm, then turn around and march right out to face down a tornado than I care to recount, I will let you in on the one thing I did right when I decided to sober up – about two weeks after my back was against the proverbial wall: When I finally gave up and asked God to remove my desire to drink, I was entirely ready to lose that desire. And after I asked, nicely, the desire to drink was lifted…
This is a scary proposition for newly sobered up alcoholics. A number of reasons pop up that seem to make holding onto the notion that we’ll be able to drink successfully one day, necessary. What will I do with the rest of my life? How will I ever have fun? Why can’t I just enjoy one drink like everyone else? What about business prospects? How will I ever entertain people again?
The answers to those questions are simple: I’ll enjoy my freedom immensely. I hadn’t had fun drinking in quite a while, I was managing the decline as the saying goes, and the decline SUCKS! I simply can’t. I’ll figure it out. The new friends I meet won’t need drinking to be entertained… but seeing those answers when we’re not out of the haze yet is almost impossible.
One way or another, this noise must be ignored, fought, pushed back against, relegated to the scrap heap. The good thing, though, if you’re experiencing these thoughts, you’re close. Your addiction is against the wall and it’s trying anything it can to get you to leave just a little wiggle room. If you just take that last little step to pushing it down into the cage, you’ve got a real chance at meaningful, lasting, enjoyable recovery. Freedom is close.
The one thing we have to get right, without fail, if we want to salvage a life out of what we’ve created, we must be done.
That’s the only thing I got right when I sobered up. I stopped fighting to stay drunk.
One last point, now that we’ve decided to put the monster in the cage and be done; just remember, even though your addiction is in a cage, there’s no lock on the door. Don’t get cocky.