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Daily Archives: December 14, 2018

Eben Weiss May Be Too Ignorant to Understand Why Cyclists Wear Helmets; Don’t Be Like Eben, the Cycling Helmet’s Don Quixote

I can’t take it anymore, folks… Outside Magazine published yet another article written by Eben Weiss that completely misses the point of wearing a helmet whilst road cycling… and it appears he’s missing the point on purpose. It strains credulity that one can miss said point so articulately without knowing the answers to the questions he asks in the first place – or better, without knowing he’s purposely asking the wrong questions.

The thing that pissed me off this time is that they turned off the comments.

Rather than just rant, I’m going to be a little more diplomatic than I was in the Title. Only a little.

First question:

Helmets have been mandatory in the pro peloton for well over a decade. Where’s the data that it’s helping?

See, this is one of those fun questions we all know the answer to; only an idiot or a crank would need to see data that they help. I’m thinking of that unlucky pro who ran into a viaduct, head first, and didn’t die. What was his name again? How about Phillipe Gilbert last year? Peter Sagan last year? Richie Porte in 2017 (dude, now that was a crash!)? There’s your data. My buddy, Phill… he’s not dead. My friend, McMike. He’s not dead. My friend, Matt. He’s not dead, too. Shit, I almost forgot! A helmet stopped my head hitting the ground when my wife stopped dead right in front of me a couple of years ago… I rode home (and then went out and bought a new helmet) – no ill effects other than a dented helmet.

Eben, you probably wouldn’t need a helmet, though. You come off like a knucklehead.

Next, the helmetless wonder goes on a rant about why we roadies are so adamant about our fellow cyclists wearing a helmet on the Sunday (club) ride. He then blames our insistence on “emotion”.

Eben, you nincompoop, it’s not emotion. Most of us have a friend who is not brain damaged because a helmet saved their mush. Second, we have club insurance that covers accidents and crashes… IF ALL INVOLVED ARE WEARING HELMETS.

So, big fella, if someone crashes me and I turn it in to the insurance company, I don’t want to have to fight to get paid because some numbskull didn’t want to wear their helmet – hell, stats would show it’s that bonehead who would cause the wreck to begin with… again, if stats were kept. They’re not, though, because documenting that is unnecessary. Do you document that the sun comes up every morning? Of course not. We know it’s coming up whether or not someone documents it.

Here’s my favorite, towards the end:

So what’s really happening when the group ride spurns the bareheaded rider? Is it because they think he or she is being profoundly irresponsible? Or is it because helmetlessness undermines their (somewhat delusional) image of themselves as elite athletes pushing themselves to the very limits of human endurance, just like their professional counterparts? You’d think if it was really about safety we’d also be pushing the UCI to analyze crash data and the helmet companies to make better products.

This is exactly what I was talking about, purposely asking the wrong questions… somewhat delusional image of ourselves as elite athletes? Eben, now I’m speaking directly to you, punk. It’s neither, you weenie… and you couldn’t hold my wheel unless your teeth were firmly dug into my Lycra shorts, you and your granny cruiser. We ride very close together at 30 to 50 feet per second. A lot can go wrong in that time, so having a piece of reinforced foam and plastic betwixt our skull and the ground makes sense, should something go awry. Also, the club insurance policy requires a mush protector, as I mentioned earlier.

Finally, we don’t have to push the UCI to publish crash data – only a crank or an ignoramus would need it. One would assume the UCI understands it’s a “no-brainer”. And that explains why you don’t get it.

My friends, people like Eben are the scourge of the planet. If we all just acted in the manner they deem right, all would be peaceful and happy. In this case, it’s a simple bike helmet. If we would just ride like he does, or his grandmother, then we wouldn’t need helmets.

A New Record for Fit Recovery…

My blog plateaued long ago.  My first full year I went from 30,000 hits to 70,000 in the second, to 125,000 hits (or thereabouts) for the third, and the next three years.  This year I broke last year’s record for the blog, though… barely.  Last year was 133,000 hits and that was passed last week.  For what I do, and for the limited amount of time I have to put into blogging, I’m entirely over the moon about this.

To all of my friends, and to all of the people who frequent my blog, thank you.

Ride hard, my friends.  And don’t f***in’ drink, even if your ass falls off.  In fact, in the event your ass does fall off, pick it up and put it in a grocery bag and take it to a meeting.  They’ll be able to show you how to put it back on.