Without my recovery, there’s nothing. No wife, no kids, no house, no job, no cars, no cycling, no freedom, no happiness, no joy… I will freely give all of those away to stay drunk. I have no control once alcohol enters my system. And the notion that I might successfully use some other drug in lieu of alcohol because alcohol is my “drug of choice” is simply preposterous. Laughable to the extent that anyone who believes such nonsense doesn’t have what I have. Living in the solution, a life without mood or mind-altering substances, is the only way that works for an addict like me. That’s just how I roll.
With that in mind, and considering I’m woefully short on time lately, due to work, how can I stay up on my recovery with only three waking hours after work?
Technology offers so many options to maintain recovery, it’s hard to imagine how they did it back in the 1930’s.
My sponsor and I split duties when it comes to opening up our favorite meeting. Normally we open it together after we have dinner together, but when one of us goes on vacation, the other takes the solo responsibility. The other day it was my turn. As is often the case in the early spring on a nice evening, attendance is sporadic. I was the only one to show.
I opened my Joe and Charlie tapes app and listened to “How It Works”. Then, for a laugh, on the way home I listened to “about sex” because there’s nothing funnier than a couple of old-timers offering a lesson on coitus. To say I pulled in the driveway with a smile on my face was an understatement. I was refreshed. Happy. Content. Comfortable in the knowledge that everything was as it should be. Revived is a good word. Rejuvenated might be even better. Other days I’ve read from the Daily Reflections, or from the Big Book itself. I can call my sponsor, work on a resentment, work with a newcomer, or write a blog post… Whatever it takes put the focus back on what matters most; another day clean and sober is my only hope for a happy existence.
The most important thing to remember as a recovering addict and alcoholic is without recovery, there’s nothing else.
And I can have my misery of living in addiction back any time I want it. All I have to do is take a drink.