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… It was Indeed the Beginning of a Fatal Progression…

January 2020
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That’s from today’s Daily Reflections. The title is from Page 23 of the 12 and 12.

… it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression…

Just before I quit drinking, I was convinced the world just didn’t like me. That, and the universe had it out for me. How could that many things go that bad for one guy?!

Then I was sentenced to treatment. I didn’t detox the pretty way, with drugs. I went cold turkey, shoveling out pig stalls… I felt it.

I also believe the shakes, night sweats and random terrors all positively contributed to my decision to ask God for help. DT’s were a wakeup call.

I really am that bad.

F*ck.

At the time, the graph of good times and bad may have felt like an “up and down” line graph… a little bit of up, some down, some more good times, so up… some really bad times, way down… more up…

Then withdrawals. And with them, the realization that it wasn’t up and down, up and down. My life was a steady down with some bumps in the road.

When I drink or use drugs, I am actively participating in my own demise. I am no longer at the beginning of a fatal progression, I’m at the end. I’ve simply suspended the decline by not drinking and working a program of recovery.

And as a benefit of doing so, a day at a time, I have been given a life of consistent contentment and happiness normal people feel blessed to experience fleetingly.

It was the beginning of a fatal progression. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Many new to sobriety have a hard time grasping how they can live without drugs and alcohol. When looked at from my perspective, I have the blessing of experience. I don’t know how I could want that misery back.

Recover hard my friends.


2 Comments

  1. biking2work says:

    Thanks Jim. You have a timely knack to arrest my weakening this week. Last week was a novelty without booze, this week is way harder. One day at a rime indeed 🤔

    • bgddyjim says:

      It gets better, brother. Or at least you will. Remember, “If I don’t pick up today, I won’t have to live through this $#!+ again… and if I do, it’ll be harder next time”. Good luck, bud.

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