When I first heard the concept, as a young, newly sober lad, of “living life like there’s no tomorrow”, I bought into the idea immediately and I repeated it often.
As I’ve grown in recovery, I’ve tempered that attitude and modified it considerably, because of one gnawing little reality; if there were no tomorrow, I wouldn’t go to work today. My friends, if this was my last month on earth I wouldn’t go to work, let alone my last day.
Once I got there in my head, the saying didn’t hold its sway.
See, when I sobered up, I’d run out of options. This is what most people call their “bottom”. The point at which we decide to stop digging. I was technically homeless, though not literally (my parents were “II” that close to throwing me out on my ass) when I left treatment. I convinced my dad, then my mom, to let me show them that I’d changed, that I had made my mind up to stay sober in treatment… and they did. And I lived up to my end. I was a meeting-going fool, starting that very evening. I committed to doing 90 meetings in 90 days. Then I did 90 in 90 one more time, just to make sure I did it right the first time.
Since that stint in treatment, I haven’t looked back. There has been progress, followed by setbacks, followed by more progress until my life doesn’t look a thing like it did back then. I have so much fun with day-to-day life, if the government found out, the politicians would figure out how to tax fun, because it’s obviously not fair that I’m having that much. Folks, it’s that good.
But what I can’t do is lose sight of what got me here in the first place.
Hard, uncomfortable work. Commitment and dedication. Mindfulness, Meetings. Recovery. Doing my best to be a good husband, a good dad, a good employee and boss… Honesty, open-mindedness, willingness. Reliance on my Higher Power and a desire to do His will (even when mine seems like it’d be more fun). Sharing my experience, strength and hope with others. Freely giving away what was so freely given to me…. and most important, I have to remember what got me to do all of that bat-shit crazy stuff to begin with:
I ran out of options.
I live life like I might not get a second chance if I screw this one up.
Fit Recovery 
It strikes me reading this Jim how different your life might have been at this juncture. If your parents had thrown you out. If you hadn’t done the 90 in 90, twice. Now as you pay it back over and over to others in person and here in the blog, imagine if you hadn’t. But you did! Inspire on!
Thanks, Sue. I love to think about just how perfect everything had to be to get to where I am today. My wife and I like to talk about how just one little change could have meant we never would have met. It’s pretty cool. Have you and Dave ever thought about how lucky you are the stars aligned the way they did?
All the time! I was from very rural Saskatchewan. He was from Calgary and made the decision to go to University in Saskatoon to buckle down in his studies. When he moved he knew only one person who he had met at an orientation. That person was a friend of mine back home. So many things had to align for us to meet. Mind boggling actually.
I really loved reading this.
This is beautiful!!
I am trying to grow my follower base and so I have given you a follow and a like and would appreciate it if you gave my site a look.
Thank you!
Thank you, Bailey. I have followed your blog and will look forward to more of your posts in the future.
Thank you so much