I was all set to ride with my regular riding buddy last night. We decided on the gravel bikes, but on paved roads. Our warm snap is over and we’re freezing colder than we were the day before, or, as has been par for the fall, 10 degrees below normal (4 C below normal, about 6 C yesterday).
We started out the first mile and Chuck asked if I could hold his bike while he messed with his cable so the cage wouldn’t rub the chain. I suggested we just take it back to my house because I had the stand set up and we could work on it proper. We had him set and rolling in five minutes.
We rode side-by-side for the first mile and Chuck took the next up front into the wind. He was at about 18-mph into a pretty stout wind and I wasn’t liking it. My legs doth protest too much. Chuck took the next mile, and I let him, still into the wind. And the next, and the next… and I’d have to rewrite that “and the next” several times because I didn’t take a turn till mile 14. I still hadn’t warmed up and I just wasn’t feeling it at all. All of the miles over the last week and some change finally caught up to me. Throw in the cold on top of that and the ride hurt.
I did end up helping for the last third of the ride, but I have to be honest here, I was pretty useless… It was a good ride, but I’m definitely going to need to chill out tonight.
Now to the lesson, the important part of this post. Last night was my brick & mortar meeting for the week (we’re all socially distanced, etc., etc., mea culpa, mea culpa) and a guy came into the meeting before the meeting complaining about his new job, that he felt his new boss hired him into a position that might be one step above his comfortability. This guy has a history of mentally screwing up a perfectly good situation.
So I chimed in and not gently reminded him of something a good friend of mine (who usually offers really bad advice) once shared with me; God is either everything or nothing. Take your pick. I’m easy. God is everything. In fact, ask most who mind f*** themselves and they’ll say the same thing.
Where the rubber meets the road, though, is if God really is everything, that fella is in exactly the position he needs to be in right this very minute. Don’t question it, don’t fret about it, and certainly, don’t work yourself into a damned panic attack over it. Just do your best and be happy.
Then the meeting started and I read the Daily Reflections… and I’m not making this up:
We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 105
I pray for the willingness to remember that I am a child of God, a divine soul in human form, and that my most basic and urgent life-task is to accept, know, love and nurture myself. As I accept myself, I am accepting God’s will. As I know and love myself, I am knowing and loving God. As I nurture myself I am acting on God’s guidance. I pray for the willingness to let go of my arrogant self-criticism and to praise God by humbly accepting and caring for myself.
Well, you can imagine the laughter as I read that last sentence. A few who came in a little late missed it, but I quickly explained why three of us laughed so hard.
Next week will be 28 years in recovery for me. In all that time, the number of conversations at the meeting before the meeting that matched a reading, usually a random passage from the Big Book, are too plentiful to count. None, in all those 10,220 24-hour periods was as perfect as that one.
Boiled down, the message is quite simple: God wants us to be nice to others and to be happy. Get on with it, and stop letting that mush between your ears get in the way.