Oh, how I love November 18th! One more year in the book, only three more years, 200-some odd days left to hit 1,000,000,000 seconds in recovery! And if you’re curious, 28 years and a few hours (six) works out to: 883,634,400 seconds.
Looking back on the final months that led up to my ultimate swearing off of all mood and mind-altering drugs, it doesn’t take but a few seconds to remember why I quit. My life was a freaking train wreck and my prospects for a happy future were bleak at best. I couldn’t even deliver pizzas very well.
28 years later, I’m on the back end of a cool career that I quite enjoy, in a wonderful marriage that produced two wonderful daughters, with a nice roof over our heads and reliably decent transportation. Above all, I am content and live in peace.
Before I quit, I couldn’t muster enough cash to get out of the state (that’s a long story).
In recovery, it’s literally been decades since I’ve had to look over my shoulder. Life isn’t perfect, of course, but “perfect” was never in the brochure. Peace, happiness and contentment were, and I’m plenty fine with that. After all, once you’ve already lived through hell and had your HP lift you out and save you, well, it’s easy to look at recovered life as wonderful.
So the message for today is this; I don’t know if I’ve got another recovery in me, but I know I’ve got another drunk in me. As long as I don’t drink and work a program of recovery, just for today, I don’t have to go through what it took to get here ever again. Better, peace and contentment are not only possible, they’re probable.
That walk through hell sucks, and I don’t want any more of that.