My wife and I had a weekend I only could have dreamt of a few years ago. It was truly a miracle. We set about making some changes a couple of months ago, now and we’re finally getting comfortable with knowing that we’re safe in our marriage and that the changes are real.
For me, the changes are foundational, right down to my baby toes.
After an amazing, wonderful weekend spent with my wife and kids, I woke up this morning, had a couple of cups of coffee and worked on a post. It was much more in depth than this one but I didn’t have the time to finish it. When it was time, I put my computer away and went in to shave and get ready for work. After, I went into our bedroom and dressed for the office. I pulled out something special to show my wife I wanted to look good for her.
Then, I climbed into bed and gave my wife a hug and kissed her forehead and told her I loved her deeply. She said, “Jim, thank you for a much better marriage”. I couldn’t hold back the tears of happiness.
We’ve worked so hard to get here. We’ve talked at length about a lot of really tough things. We’ve negotiated hard for things that matter to us. And we’ve both let go of intense fear and hurt so we could begin to heal.
As recovery from alcoholism and addiction goes, and this particularly pertains to marriage as well, I must remember that I am the problem. If I don’t know that I’m the problem, I need to pray that my Higher Power will show me where I’m the problem.
As long as I remember that, I have a chance. Today, I’m so grateful I’m actually grateful for being grateful. None of this was possible until I was willing to ask God to help me to be a better me. I don’t know if I was ready for how much I had to improve, but it all worked out in the wash.
My wife and I are on the right path and we know it. You may wonder how it is we know that. It’s simple; we don’t have to work to stay on the path. We want to stay on it because neither one of us want to go back to what we had before.
It’s as good as it gets – and I have faith it’ll get better. I’ve been here too many times to believe otherwise.