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When Cyclists Discriminate Against Cyclists (and When It’s Okay to Act Like a Jerk… And When It’s Not)

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Certain cyclists will read that Title and immediately think I’m referring to the Lycra-line… fast cyclists dolled up in their Lycra, cruising down the road at ridiculous speeds in pace-lines, all exclusive like. You think they hate everyone who isn’t like them.

Oh, there are a few who fancy themselves as above other cyclists. There are @$$holes who reside in the Lycra-lines. They don’t hold an exclusive line on being douchebags, though.

How about the clown show cyclist? That knucklehead who shows up on the steel bike with the Campagnolo downtube groupset? It’s like 90 degrees out (38 C) and they’re in the sunblock arm and leg covers (different colors, of course – white arm covers, hi-viz leg covers) with the hi-viz everything else, including their neck gaiter… in fact they’re so hi-viz it’s hard to look at them in the sunshine… with so much sunblock on, they’re even whiter than their arm covers. And, with four taillights (all cheap and barely visible during the day) and a front blinkie that can double as a steel cutter in a pinch.

That’s the one who has no problem telling anyone who will listen the real problem with cycling is that the fast Lycra-clad crowd won’t slow down to ride with the slower crowd – especially a new rider…

They’re so angry and sure of themselves, they don’t even know they’re discriminating against those who are different, just the same. Better, they’re discriminating against the faster cyclists solely based on the assumption the fast crowd won’t bother to lower themselves to do what the clown refuses to do themselves.

Dudes and dudettes, here’s the deal; if you ever start a conversation with “there oughta be a law limiting how fast people can ride a bicycle”, you’re likely that which you claim to disdain so much. If you read this and think, “that’s bullshit, those motherf***ers need to slow down!” Do me a favor and walk over to the mirror and take a good, hard look.

You’re the problem, too.

There are @$$holes on both sides of this, and I don’t mean to excuse the Lycra-lines, either. At least the Lycra-lines know they’re jerks, though. Imagine someone in the fast crowd saying there should be a law that establishes a minimum speed limit of 15-mph! The funny thing is, the Lycra-lines may look down their noses at others, but not so far that they believe the behaviors of others should be regulated to match theirs. Looked at that way, that’s a level of pampas even the snobbiest of Lycra-clad semi-pro roadie wouldn’t stoop to.

We all need to be better people. Be good and decent to others first. And remember, the biggest jerks are always the regulators who believe the answer to everything is regulating our bad behavior… almost exclusively the bad behavior of others, though.

Regulations for thee, not for me, as they say.

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8 Comments

  1. unironedman says:

    Let him without sin, etc. 😉

    • bgddyjim says:

      Right? Then, a rock came sailing from the back of the crowd and smacked Jesus right in the forehead, leaving a bloody tendril down his cheek. He stood on his tippy toes and exclaimed, “Aw, c’mon, mom! I’m trying to make a point here!”

  2. Brent says:

    I never knew there were people like that — slow and resentful of people who are fast. I am slow (13-15 mph average, though that’s in New England hills). But I’m not resentful of the fast guys. They’ve earned it.

    Fast people are fast because they made life choices not to overeat and become morbidly obese over the course of many years (which I did) and then they prioritized their time to ride a lot more than I do (I typically ride 1,500 miles a year, which isn’t much) and when they ride, they do training techniques that will get them fast. Good for them!

    My goal in riding centuries and grand fondos is “anything but DFL,” and I’ve been fortunate enough to achieve that consistently, sometimes narrowly, and sometimes by a comfortable margin. Oh, and the other goal is to have fun whenever I ride. Most of the time, I accomplish that as well.

  3. DOLLED? Hahahahahahahaha

  4. Dan says:

    The only “fast ones” I get ticked off about are those that think the inner city bike trails are the place to do that with all the occasional riders and families walking their kiddos. Not the place to be the speed warrior!

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