We have team kit speed suits. They’re expensive, fast, well-made… and if you don’t have an exceptional physique, you will resemble a sausage wearing one.

Here’s the bitch, though; they are that much faster compared to a normal high-end kit – and not just at hyper-fast paces… they’re a lot faster at the pace my wattage allows for on a Tuesday night (I average around 350 watts for just under an hour-twenty on a decently fast night). If I was a little lighter… erm… okay, a lot lighter, I probably wouldn’t have to worry about that kind of output, but I’m content with myself. Even if I have started eating a lot more salad of late. And fish. Oh, and cut out most of the troublesome stuff… dammit, I’m on a diet. A real one, too, for Pete’s sake.

I won’t be switching any time soon, though. A standard kit offers a little more… erm… modesty, and that’s worth more to me than saving a minute. I don’t spend that much time up front unless I’m on the tandem with Jess, anyway.

And if you think you’re getting your wife into one of those get-ups so you can twin on the tandem, without giving up something else vitally more important to happiness, your level of ignorance is colossal.

How much like a sausage are you willing to look? Now, that’s the proper question!