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Best SEXY GIRL Fails of JUNE 2017 | Extreme Funny Fail Compilation |

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This is some good, old-fashioned family fun.  Gulp.  “Is it hot in here?”

😲

PG. Btw.

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Just what the World Needs, another Snowflake. A Different Theme on a New Meme; The Carleton University Scale Dust up.

Trigger (heh) warning:  If you still wear diapers or pull-ups and are easily triggered to melt, this post is likely not for you.  You have been trigger (heh) warned.

I originally thought the story was a fake, it’s just too perfect.  University Athletics management removes a weight scale from the gym and leaves a sign:

A sign where the scale used to be stated it was removed to encourage people to focus on other ways of measuring their health beyond just their weight.

The sign stated the decision to remove the scale is “in keeping with current fitness and social trends.”

Social trends?  In a gym?  Fitness trends?  Which trends would they be?  Specifically.

Now, the meme diverges from there and suggests that the scale was removed at the request of one snowflake who was “triggered” by seeing the scale and asked that it be removed.  If that’s the case, I shudder for the future and am now considering working till I’m 80 so I don’t have to rely on that dipshit to provide for my health care and partial retirement.  Hey, only 33 more years to go.

Whatever the case, that part really didn’t “technically” make the original story.  The original story is way more fun to play with, from the snowflake perspective, anyway.

The sign left in place of the scale encouraged people to “focus on other ways of measuring their health beyond just their weight”.  Why is management suggesting those who use a scale are only using the scale to measure “health”?  You don’t use a scale to measure health.  A scale measures weight – and that is the only thing it measures – and nothing does that better.

It’s very simple really, a scale is a tool used to let one know if one is consuming too much food.  If one does, the number goes up.  If one doesn’t, guess what!  YES!  The number goes down.  If we are lifting weights in conjunction with cardio, that number stays there for a bit while the body trades fat for muscle.  Then it drops.  Rocket science this is not.

Let’s move on, now that I’m in captain obvious mode.

Bruce Marshall, manager of health and wellness at Athletics, said focusing only on weight can have a negative impact.

Bruce Marshall must not be doing his job as the manager of health and wellness if his people are teaching those who use his gym to only focus on weight.  I wonder why they wouldn’t teach balance like everyone else, but weight plays a part in that balance.

We don’t believe being fixated on weight has any positive effect on your health and well-being,” Marshall said in an email. “The body is an amazing machine and even when we are dieting and training it will often find a homeostasis at a certain weight.”

Marshall added it can take a long time to see a change in weight.

It takes weeks, even months to make a permanent change in your weight. So why obsess about it?” he said. “Why not look at other indicators?”

So anyone who weighs themselves once a week, or even once a day, is fixated on weight now, according to Bruce Almighty?

A great thinker once said he’d rather be governed by the first 2,000 names in the Boston phone book than the faculties at Harvard and MIT.  Bruce is why.  If he has people using his gym who are fixated on weight, why does he have to remove the scale and wreck it for everyone, why can’t he do his job and teach those few who do fixate on weight how to moderate?  To postulate that anyone who uses a scale is fixated on weight is silly and lazy.

The Great and Powerful Bruce then makes the next natural leap from fixation to obsession.  It just keeps getting better!

The last line is the best, “Why not look at other indicators?”

Hey, Mr. Wonderful, why not use all the tools in the toolbox?  Why fight with one hand tied behind your nuts (or vajay-jay)?

[It’s a funny visual though, ain’t it?]

Now here’s where we get to drop the Brucemeister into the dumpster.  Watch this…

According to Marshall, other indicators to look at include girth measurements, which can change “dramatically,” without much of a weight change. This involves measuring the circumference of areas such as the torso, legs, and arms to record progress.

He added people can also set goals in terms of cardiovascular fitness and overall strength, instead of only focusing on the number on the scale.

So, Mr. Fantastic wants us to take girth measurements?  Being fixated on the scale is bad but being fixated on girth is good, yes?  How about obsessed?  I wonder if Mr. Fabulous knows that being obsessed with girth is unhealthy!?  While we’re at it, what are the right girth measurements?  Please, Oh Wise One, bestow on us the proper girth measurements so we may obsess on them.  And oh, goody, we can “set goals in terms of cardiovascular fitness and overall strength” instead of relying on a number on a scale.  This is madness.  It’s such an easy concept but the waters must be muddied so that only a doctor can properly assess whether or not one’s ass is too big.

Here’s the problem:  I picked this article apart while watching Star Wars.  It was easy because Bruce has himself in the middle of his own one-man circular firing squad.  See, I don’t think he actually believes that gobbledygook he was spewing about scales.  His arguments were too simple to turn around and use against him because they’re based in rainbows, unicorns and hope.

Come to think of it, I’d bet the mirrors are next.   They are good as gone and I can’t wait to rip apart the note The Brucinator leaves in place of those.

Where this story really went off the rails was when a student chimed in on Facebook with:

“Scales are very triggering,” she said. “I think people are being insensitive because they simply don’t understand. They think eating disorders are a choice when they are actually a serious illness.”

One can only imagine how I, an ex-drunk, managed to recover from alcoholism.  Alcohol is everywhere.  We learn to disregard the trigger, I don’t expect the world to stop drinking because I’m an ex-drunk.  It takes a special kind of nincompoop to suggest a scale is a trigger that should be banished for those few with eating disorders.

I will put this as simply as I can, from a mountain of experience; If I am “triggered”, I am the problem, not the inanimate object that “triggered” me.  I need to be fixed.  Period.  [PS.  Those aren’t “scare” quotes.  They’re “stupid” quotes.]

One last tidbit from The Washington Democrat… err, Post:

 

Marshall told CBC, in response to the criticism the school has received, “We will weigh the pros and cons and may reconsider our decision.”

We can only hope that he doesn’t obsess over weighing those pros and cons on a scale.

I couldn’t resist.

This post was a result of reading my friend, Gail’s most excellent post on the subject.  I just wanted to take it in a different direction.

 

Liberal Preppers are loading up on Granola, Tofu… and Guns and Ammo in the Event of a Trumpocalypse?  Welcome to the Club Boys and Girls!  

Seriously?  According to reports, it’s true!  It appears liberals/progressives (I repeat myself) around the US are flocking to gun stores to get their Trumpocalypse firearm and load up on ammo while they’re at it. 

We can gloss over the irony that it’s about time liberals discovered that the Second Amendment to the Constitution covers more than recreational hunting but let’s not get too crappy, eh?  ‘Tis a reason to celebrate!.  No need to point out that if Republicans hadn’t blocked their attempts to block that Amendment, they’d be stocking up on sticks, stones and Rambo knives.  Oh wait!  Would those be Rambo knives recategorized as “assault knives”?!  So make it “sticks, stones and butter knives”.

I digress!  Let’s look at the positives!  And I’ll offer you new whipper-snappers a tip or two, you know…. so you don’t accidentally kill yourself (or someone else)!

  • We’re a little hysterical right now, so let’s take a deep breath.  Oooooommmmm… Okay, calm?  A person who voted for Donald Trump  and happens to be disagreeing with you in a conversation is not a threat on your life or safety.  That means you can’t actually shoot someone for disagreeing with you or for voting for Donald Trump.  This may come as a surprise to you with all of the fake news out there in the New York Times, Washington Post, and coming out of NPR or your average ultra-liberal professor but it’s true.  You cannot kill someone for not liking Big Government.  
  • The place for your pistol is not in the drawer or under your pillow if you have kids.  “I told him/her not to go into my room” won’t bring them back.  The pistol goes in a nice little quick access safe on the night stand.
  • It will cost you $10,000 minimum in court/attorney costs if you’re caught pulling your weapon in public.  If you shoot a person, even in true, blatant, obvious self-defense, $100,000 minimum in defense costs.  You can’t afford the defense, so you better be sure before you even think of brandishing that weapon because you’re going into court with a public defender and a life sentence is a loooong time.  Again, a “he/she hurt my feelings” defense will get you 25 to life.
  • Practice, at a legitimate firearm range, drawing, aiming, and firing your pistol.  Become comfortable with your firearm.  Become a good shot.  Learn which end is the business end.  Learn where “the bullets go”.  Practice.
  • Being able to purchase a firearm does not allow one to carry it on their person in a concealed fashion.  You need a special permit or license for that depending on your State Law – this goes to that “well regulated” part, and that goes (by design, ladies and gentlemen) by State.  In mine, I had to go through a special course to prove that I was proficient with my firearm (and contrary to fake news, not everyone will pass… a guy two stalls down was failed instantly when we all had to duck because he didn’t know enough to keep his weapon pointed down range or flat on the table in front of him).  
  • After the course and test, expect a background check from the FBI.  They put your fingerprints on file too.
  • Carrying a concealed firearm without a license is a felony in all but one State (I believe one made it legal to carry without a license, or is in the process of doing so) though many do allow open carry.  It’s my personal.preference to refrain from advertising though.
  • Now, for a few lighter tips.  Unlike many of y0ur liberal friends, we won’t give you $#!+ about purchasing a firearm or showing up at a range.  We’ll welcome you to the club because that’s what we do.  It’s about the Amendment and the Right, not you.  Please learn from this and treat us accordingly – no need to try to shut down the firearm range you practice at to assuage your guilt for being there.
  • Notice I used the words “pistol” and “firearm”, not “gun”?  You played with toy guns when you played Zombie Apocalypse in the backyard as a kid.  Pistols are not toys.  Period.
  • Hopefully this is where you realize all that hyperventilating by your side is silly and you’re at the point you’ve come to understand what an incredible responsibility owning a firearm is.  Honor that responsibility, please.

    Finally, to wrap this up, we on the right freaked out a little bit when President Obama was elected in ’08 so I can dig that you lefties are a touch discombooberated right now.  We survived Obama (for the most part) and you’ll survive eight years of Trump (heh)…. Unless you happen to be a bureaucrat, in that case, Vaya con Dios. I hope that new post in Nome, Alaska is a peach.  Bring a warm jacket, eh.  

    It’s about damn time, too.

    With that, welcome to the club!

    The Hard And Fast Rules Of Life…

    There are many simple rules in life that are not mandated, but wise to follow. For instance, never take advice on how to drive drunk from an ex-drunk. It’s very simple really, if they had any clue how to drink responsibly, let alone drive (namely leave the car at home and take a damn cab), they wouldn’t be EX-drunks.  Another would be never take the advice of a politician, unless it’s, “we politicians need to do less so we screw up the country less”, in that case, they’re right.

    On the other hand, when someone offers their experience for my benefit, I always give it a fair roll around the melon. Sometimes I can use it, sometimes I can’t, but I always give it a fair shake because these are the people who actually care.

    That said, I like to write, from time to time, about good times and noodle salad (As Good As It Gets). I come at life from an interesting perspective having been a recovered drunk for the last couple of decades and only being 43 years-old.  I made a pretty fair mess of my life and the prospects weren’t looking too rosy when I quit drinking, so to have made something out of myself, to have become a decent, contributing member of society (rather than a drag on it), is a pretty big deal.  This was made possible by the fact that I didn’t just stop drinking, I completely changed my life, how I looked at things, my thought patterns and how I handled responsibilities (I actually handled them for once).

    With that complete change in attitude and outlook came immense benefits, far too numerous to mention here (I’d be well into writing something that had as many words as the Bible or a dictionary).  One of the benefits really stuck out at me the other day when a new blog friend posted a comment on my tongue in cheek look at how women can help their men get fit, here.  In that post I wrote this:  “…there’s one other way to reach your man in a meaningful way – at least one that will work.  Nagging is not the answer.”

    Weronika (pronounced Veronica) responded thusly:

    “LOL  the group of retiree males with whom I ride… they claim cycling helps them get away from their wives.  I think they’ve suffered too much nagging and not enough cleavage.  Poor guys.  Their wives need this post.”

    Veronica is right, but those guys have a part in this too…  So I responded.

    Now I’m going to break here – my response to her comment is not kid-friendly so if you’re under 20, please don’t bother going any further… (more…)

    Ladies: How To Get Your Husbands Off The Couch and Into Fitness

    Okay ladies, this post is for you, well technically your husband too, but hear me out…

    First, allow me to thank Mrs. Bgddy for not only demonstrating flawlessly what it takes to keep her man fit, but also for being such a good sport for the good of my blog and women all over the free world!

    With that out of the way, besides their stomach’s, there’s one other way to reach your man in a meaningful way – at least one that will work.  Nagging is not the answer.

    Observe:

    Road Cycling works a little better...

    Road Cycling works a little better…

    ...Obviously

    …Obviously

    ...but mountain biking is still pretty good too...

    …but mountain biking is still pretty good too…

    The argument could (and probably will) be made that we men should be above such trivial behavior.  Those who would make such an argument are wrong.  You can work your tail off with traditional discussions and arguments and get nowhere…  Or, as Mrs. Bgddy demonstrates so eloquently, flash a little cleavage and get the job done.  Ladies, it’s up to you!  Help your man become fit as an ox, for humanity!

    This post was conceived (if you will) and written for a laugh and should not be taken seriously.  Of course if you’re a little daring and willing, this will work.   Mrs. Bgddy and her cleavage appear knowing full well why these photos were taken and what they would be used for because she rocks.  If this angers you, it’s probably because you don’t.

    How To Know If You’re Truly A Bike Nut…

    jamis

    What is wrong with this picture?

    I found this photo yesterday and it really made me want to buy a Jamis bike – in fact, I almost thought about making this one of my “If I had “x” dollars” series – then I noticed it – there’s a problem with this photo and it takes a true bike nut to pick it out amidst the, um, chatter.

    For fame and recognition, what is it?

    P.S.  It’s not that the bike is too small for the model, she’s in four inch heels with at least a two inch rise to boot…  Err…

    UPDATE:  The proprietor of Bike War figured out what was wrong with the photo:  All of the effort they put into that photo and they’ve got the chain on the little ring – for the love of God and all that is holy, when you photograph bikes, take the time to put the chain on the big ring!

    UPDATE 2:  Mrs. Bgddy, old eagle-eyes herself, pointed out that the model’s tag is sticking out the top of her, um, panties (or would that be a bikini bottom)…  Amazingly (or not), I missed that entirely.

    Corso’s Corn… Chall… Is Everyone At ESPN Stupid?

    This is a racy post. You have been warned.

    ESPN has a new game out for the iPhone, quaintly named:

    Corso’s Corn Hole Challenge.

    Humorously enough, it’s a beanbag toss game in which you attempt to toss a beanbag through Lee Corso’s mouth which is, admittedly large.

    Unfortunately ESPN is staffed with complete idiots because a “corn hole” is most assuredly not a mouth. In fact, it’s another orifice entirely – that’s right boys and girls. The picture on the game board, of Lee Corso’s face is all wrong. He should be grabbing his ankles.

    You can’t make this up. The definition for Corn Hole is rectum.

    How stupid do you have to be to work in the marketing department for ESPN?