Home » Recovery
Category Archives: Recovery
This year is a distinct departure from the last eleven. In an effort to be a better husband to my wife, I’ve let go of my need/desire (take your pick) to be an aggressively fast cyclist. This change in heart has been a long time in coming and, while my previous choices didn’t make me a “bad” husband/father, looking back I don’t think there’s any question I was selfish and self-centered. Now, you may wonder how this runs into golf. Well, I used to golf. A lot. I could regularly shoot in the 70s for 18 holes and would even manage par or one under fairly consistently on moderate to easy courses. I can still remember the first round I beat my dad (who spent double the time I did on a golf course and could kick my butt with fairways and greens). Then Alzheimer’s and what they call alcoholic “wet brain” at the same time for my dad. I met up with my dad every Friday for years for a Friday afternoon round of golf. We’d play 18, then get some lunch or dinner. Then I’d head home to my wife and kids. Speaking of kids, after our first was born, golf took a back seat. Practice four days a week with two rounds a week turned into one practice day and a round or two a week. My dad started breaking down in 2013 and we moved him to a home so he could be looked after. Our Friday golf outing dwindled from 18 holes to 14, to 9… and when my dad started teeing up the ball at me, I pulled the plug and stopped taking him.
Shortly after my dad died, I quit golf altogether. It just wasn’t the same without him and our Friday outings. I quit for a broken heart.
Well, this past spring, my daughter asked me to teach the game to her and, being the dad I am, I said I would. I had to find a way to get my heart back into it, though. I took my dad’s set of Callaway Big Bertha Irons in and had the shafts lengthened and re-gripped and I had a second set of my dad’s clubs regripped for my daughter. With my dad’s spirit in my golf bag, I started practicing again at the local driving range about five miles from my house. I’ve played four rounds in the last, call it five weeks, and I almost feel like my old self. When I get a hold of a drive, I’m hitting 270 to 280 yards (247 to 256 meters) and am starting to get quite proficient with my short irons (my 5 and 6 still need some work). Not bad for a 52-year-old who hasn’t swung a club in eight years.
So, uncharacteristically, twice last week I chose golf, or practice over riding. Once to take my daughter to the range, Wednesday, and once Friday for an invite to a supplier’s golf outing.
I played well, Friday – a four man best-ball scramble. I one-putted for holes to keep our team even or drop a shot – all over 20′ with the longest at least 40′ (12 meters) and hit several fantastic drives, as well as a few good iron shots. I started really getting warmed up in the middle holes, call it six to fourteen before sputtering out because I was hungry.
In that eight hole stretch I felt like the old me again, and it was good.
Saturday, it was time for a rowdy ride on the tandem with my lovely wife – my (new-ish) favorite mode of cycling. We did a nice 46-mile loop with an average pace over 18-mph. We were absolutely on as a couple and the ride showed it. We were laughing and talking and had two long pulls in excess of 16-miles, one dead into a high single-digit headwind. I love it when we’re on like that. The rest of the day was a special celebration for my wife that I need not get into here, but I will say it was a lovely day.
Today will be more of the same – tandemonium, yet again, followed by yard work and some flower planting and yardwork.
My favorite band of all time is Stone Temple Pilots. I saw them once in an arena and my wife and I saw their lead singer perform at a local concert bar where he was tightening up his solo act before hitting the national scene with his show. He was dead of an overdose shortly thereafter in 2015. It was a sad… and will come into play later in this post….
My wife was going to be home late from work last night so I easily had time to fit in an early evening ride before we had dinner as a family for the first time in a week. Our daughters both work, now, so getting everybody in the house at the same time, along with my wife and I, is increasingly rare. As I turned onto our street, I saw a hearse in my neighbor’s driveway. His wife had been battling many health issues and a bit of dementia as well. She’d recently stopped eating and it was only a matter of time. Her husband of 65-years is absolutely gutted. We stopped by the other day to say good-bye. He had his wife on a hospital bed in their living room, facing the television watching the pro baseball game, holding her hand. He must have said, “that’s my whole life right there”, pointing at his wife, a dozen times.
That’s exactly how much I love my wife and I can only hope I’ve got another 40 or 50 years left of this…
Back to last night. I threw a leg over the top tube of my Specialized Venge in the driveway and rolled out onto the road after letting two cars clear, wobbling strangely at first. I half-chuckled at how strange and twitchy the single bike felt under me. I started to cry. For Jerry, first, but then those tears turned to gratitude. I spent the whole ride thankful that my Venge felt so… not like the tandem I ride with my wife.
I get to love my wife like there’s no tomorrow, when there is. And for that, I am grateful beyond words.
Getting back to Stone Temple Pilots, Still Remains.
Pick a song and sing of yellow nectarines
Take a bath I’ll drink the water that you leave
If you should die before me ask if you can bring a friend
Pick a flower, hold your breath and drift away…Most lyric sites have it as “pick a song and sing a yellow nectarine”; I don’t believe that’s what he sings in the song because it makes no damned sense that way, but whatever. https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/15231/
That’s the first song in a playlist my wife put together for us back in 2017. The first of 108 songs. That line exactly describes how I feel about my wife and I regularly tell her, “ask if you can bring a friend”. She says she can’t, of course… not until she’s sure our girls are good and taken care of. After that, immediately.
I love riding that silly, heavy tandem with my wife. I told her the other day, if they came out with a new law that said you can only own one bicycle, it’d be a tandem… and my wife and I would ride off into the sunset, singing of yellow nectarines, taking baths, meeting God together, and being grateful to have each other in this crazy world. For however long that might be. One glorious day at a time.
Tires for Tandems!!! Continental Gets the Honorable “Flat Protection” Award… As Specialized Kicks Continental’s Butt and Takes the “Comfortable” Award.
After having ridden Continental Super Sport tires on our tandem until the Kevlar showed (I mean this literally, no rubber left on a patch or two of the tire) without one single flat tire in thousands of miles, I’ve gotta give Continental its due on their flat protection. That I could write this is a testament to how good their tires are – it’s not exactly like a tandem is nimble. Those tires have been through it.
Sadly, compared against the lowly Specialized Espoir Sport 28-mm tire, the Conti’s were like riding on a metal rail. Oh, the “rolling resistance” may have been a little lower but the beyond plush Specialized Espoir Sport is simply outstanding by comparison.
The Specialized Espoir tire is the lower end of the Specialized road spectrum but they’ve always been a decent tire, especially as flat protection goes. On our tandem, they’re like riding on a buttered bagel… with cream cheese next to the Conti’s. In fact, they’ve made riding our Co-Motion quite a bit more enjoyable.
At the writing of this post, I’d say we’ve got about 500 exceedingly comfortable, flat-free miles on the Espoir Sport tires and we won’t be going back.
The Noob’s Guide to Riding Tandem Bicycles with One’s Spouse: How to NOT Kill Each Other (Or Wish for the Other’s Death) Before, During or After A Bike Ride.
My buddy, Mike, likes to say that a tandem is a marriage maker or a marriage breaker. This post will cover how my wife and I made riding tandem the former.
The person up front, the stronger rider is the captain. The person in the back is the stoker*.
Rule Number ONE: The stoker never makes mistakes. Ever. Was ever thus.
*Rule Number TWO: My stoker isn’t referred to as “a stoker”, even though I just wrote that the person in the back is “the stoker”. The stoker is really your Rear Admiral. My wife coined this just a few weeks ago and it shall stick. Because it is awesome. If I keep that perspective, I’m the captain and my wife is the rear admiral, that’s just about the patience humility needed to have the most enjoyable experience one can imagine on a tandem.
This is why my wife and I are awesome on a tandem. We compliment each other. And it was not easy getting here.
Beyond the BS on tandem riding, if you want to not only survive riding a tandem with your spouse, but love it, there are a few things I can pass along that will be helpful. Oh, and it took about two years of regular tandem riding to get here. See if you can do better.
- Get your spouse a Garmin so they can see how fast you’re going, too. They’ll be able to see if you’re slowing down and how that relates to their pedaling. This trick saved me massive headaches.
- Lower your expectations if you’re normally fast on a single bike. Tandems are about 30% more effort than a single bike and it takes effort to work together; more “want to” than you’ll likely think at first. My wife and I are quite fast on single bikes. I’m a 21 to 23-mph average while my wife is comfortable between 18 & 21. When we ride tandem, we can be anywhere from 16 to 20-mph depending on the ride. We did our first tour last week and we didn’t get above 17-mph for an average over the three days and I could not have possibly cared less… because, Number 3.
- Love your spouse like there’s no tomorrow. My wife and I do better the more we love and care for each other off the bike. I’ll make this simple; if you’re prone to fight and get upset if you feel the other isn’t performing up to your expectations, you’re too self-centered. Stop it. Trust me, I know how this works. It isn’t them, it’s you. Cut it out.
- Communicate. When your Rear Admiral pushes through a nice climb, tell them so. When your captain negotiates a challenging situation, let them know. My wife and I developed a series of non-verbal communications on the bike, too. I’ll rub her arm or wrist to let her know I love her. She’ll rub my right butt cheek to do the same. She rides with her hands on my back to signify playful happiness. I extend my left fist back for some knuckles when she powers us through a hill or a turn… and when my wife wants a QOM, she gives a gentle smack on the butt to get me moving.
- Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
- REMEMBER THAT WHICH IS MOST IMPORTANT!!! When it’s all said and done, love each other. If you want to ride well on a tandem, that starts off the bike. My wife and I have more fun riding tandem than should be allowed… because we care for each other immensely. The better we are off the bike, the more fun we have on it.
All of these points are important, but that last one is serious. My wife and I sleep so closely at night, you can’t slip a piece of paper between us. For me, the sun rises and sets on her and my wife treats me the same way. It wasn’t always like that – and that was reflected in how we rode on the tandem. In the end, and this is off the bike, I decided to just worry about “cleaning my side of the street”… and when I thought my street was clean, I asked God to show me if there was any dirt that needed tending to. What my eyes were opened to was shocking… and I went to work, cleaning that up. And we went from an occasional tandem riding couple to “I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be on a bicycle than being the Captain for my Rear Admiral”. We’re regularly moved to tears of joy with how much fun we have together on our tandem. And that’s how we know we’re doing it right.
If you want to ride tandem with your spouse, remember this: sometimes you want to throw them like a lawn dart, but you just have to love ’em. Do this and you can’t go wrong.
This post is for my most amazing wife. I love you, Jessica. There’s no place I’d rather be than on a tandem with you. You are my Sunshine.
I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on in the coming days so I’m going to fit posts in where I can. I’ve got detailed posts working on a lot of fun and exciting stuff from our weekend at the Sunrise Adventure Tour with the League of Michigan Bicyclists. This was the best tour I’ve ever ridden in terms of stunning scenery and excellent roads. The roads were even better than down in Kentucky.
For now, I’ll leave you with some of the highlights from the trip…
And yes, my wife and I matched each day. And it was awesome! As you can gather from the smiles in the photos, my wife and I have found peace, happiness and serenity on a tandem. We won’t give up our individuality on our singles, but we have come to shine on our Co-Motion. At my request, my wife refers to me as “Oh Captain, my Captain”… and at hers, my wife has come up with and lived up to being my “Rear Admiral”.
More tales from the tandem soon.
I apologize for not posting for the last few days. My lovely wife and I are on a cycling adventure – our first on our tandem and it could not possibly be going better. I’ll save the mushy stuff for another post, but suffice it to say, we lead very busy lives and it’s often difficult to find each other in the din to reconnect.
We’re making up for all of that on this trip. It’s been delightful.
Mrs. Bgddy chose to ride with me on the tandem for Tuesday night. I was looking forward to it all day long, I won’t lie.
I got in the car to head home from the office and I put on a playlist my wife made years ago for us of love songs that make her think of us. It’s a hundred-eight songs long… and that’s precisely when I realized what a buffoon I can be. That woman loves me so much she put together a playlist of songs that remind her of us… and it’s 108 songs-long. And so I drove home listening to that playlist with a smile on my face.
My wife was working when I got home, so I went straight to prepping for the evening. Summer hit yesterday, so it was good and sticky outside. We rolled out for the church precisely at 5:15 and got there with plenty of time to get ready but not much time to warm up our legs.
We had a few conversations in the parking lot and readied to move out with just a minute to spare. The A Elite group rolled out. We waited a few seconds and headed out ourselves, with a crew of five on single bikes. We had a good amount of tailwind the first ten miles and quickly worked up a 20+ mph average. It took a few miles for my wife and I to synch up but once we did, it was magic as usual. We’ve really come in to our own on the tandem this year.
We made our way through the course taking an easy shortcut that kept us from having to cross a major road that’s always busy with 55-mph+ traffic. It also pops us in front of the A Group… that caught us back up just before the hills. At some point in the hills, we heard a pop behind us but nobody said anything so we just kept rolling. It had happened that Dave had a blowout and three of the group stopped to fix it. We didn’t even know until we got to the regroup spot and the others never came over the hill.
We decided to roll for home, figuring those who stopped would be able to handle the repairs and wouldn’t want us waiting around in the heat.
And so we did… and after a mile and a half, our five cyclist/four bike group shattered. Matt went one way, Lenny went off the back when we accelerated to 33-mph down a slight downhill into Vernon… all of a sudden, Jess and I were alone.
And we didn’t miss the opportunity to take it easy the rest of the way back. We laughed and talked and made plans for the future… it was a perfect ride in, even if we had a brutal crossing headwind for five of the last six miles.
Ordering that new tandem seems like a smarter decision every day. We’re both looking forward to riding the wheels off it. Both sets of wheels.
My buddy, Chuck and I, if Monday isn’t a day off (and it frequently is for me), roll out for one of the slower rolls of the week. It’s a rarity when we top 17-mph for an average. With the Tuesday Night Club Ride right around the corner, there’s no reason to do anything but take it easy. In fact, to try anything more would be detrimental to the hammer-fest to come.
And so it was last night.
We started out with an easy pace and pretty much kept it there most of the ride. The weather was quite glorious, with warmth, sunshine and some wispy cirrus clouds stretched across the upper reaches of the atmosphere.
We talked about Chuck 4×4’ing with his family up north and Jess and my ceremony over the weekend. We caught up and had a few good laughs before turning one final time on Hill Road, heading east… and the pace quickened as we took it to the barn in the last five miles.
There’s something about that homestretch that neither one of us can stay off the gas.
We rolled into the driveway with 22-ish miles and I had an easy sense of “everything is okay”. Dinner with my wife and daughter was fantastic (BLT sammiches with cheese, mayo, onion and a fried egg – try it, you’ll love it). Then my wife and I took ten minutes to sit in the backyard on the swing to reconnect after our hectic day. Folks, taking five or ten minutes to reconnect with my wife after a busy day is something we’ve never done but has turned out to be exceptionally wonderful. We cleared up a few miscommunications that all had benign origins as we held hands, swinging and looking at the wildlife in our yard. Squirrels, a rabbit, several species of birds (including a male cardinal and some sexy, sexy time redwing blackbirds). I also had a couple of realizations pop up that surprised me, but more of that in another post. The simplest, I can let you in on; love is grand.
What a wonderful world.
A buddy asked me out golfing the other day and after talking it over with my lovely wife, it was decided I should go… and I was glad I did. I shot a (well, an almost) legit 80 – a five over 42 on the front and a 3 over 38 on the back.
It was a stellar day on the course.
Afterward, my wife had a graduation ceremony to attend to that didn’t require me so, with my eldest asleep and my youngest at work, I took my Venge out and hit the asphalt for a slightly quick 35-1/2 miler on the what we call “the Deer Loop”. I had some things to work out in my head and the ride was perfect for that. It’s amazing to me how a good ride can clear out the mental clutter.
Well, the mental clutter clears until you start getting tired. At that point, cycling brain takes over and good luck remembering your best friend’s name… but I digress.
Later that afternoon, my wife called for “Family Time” and suggested putt-putt golf. Originally, we’d planned on a nice dinner and a few episodes of Castle together, but I love the four of us playing putt-putt. It’s always a blast, and with the girls getting older, God only knows how many games we have.
Next, we went out to dinner at our favorite burger joint before heading home. Friends, I won’t lie, I was dead tired… and so was my wife.
Let’s just say there were fireworks at bedtime in my humble abode. In fact, our first real argument in months. Unlike previous fights, though, we got it sorted… and the right way.
So, when you’re renewing your vows, what’s the best way to start that day? A ride on the tandem, of course!
We rolled out with a few friends and our sights on an easy pace and a fun ride on the tandem. We took it easy with the light breeze of a headwind… well, really, we just took it easy and had a nice time of it. I think we had a 17.1-mph average when we hit the rollers down into Durand – a four mile stretch with a negative grade that is absolute joy on a tandem. We started as soon as we crested the last little climb and put the power to the pedals. We hammered out the first couple of miles at and above 30-mph and then waited for everyone to catch up. Mike K and Phill caught us and passed us while we were waiting on Mike A and Ukulele Dave and we could hear Phill working Mike up for the sprint into Durand. “You going to go for it?” Mike replied in the negative, saying he doubted he could match is previous KOM time. As we neared the sign, though, Phill started cranking it up. Mike was second and we were third – and my wife wanted to take them down. When Phill surged, we matched it and held Mike’s wheel. We did the same again when Phill tapped out and Mike surged. I thought for sure we were going to lose his wheel but my stoker wife was on it with a vengeance. We held Mike’s wheel for a goodly bit and then, on a slight downhill, we hit the gas and went around him. We started way too soon but there was no way I wasn’t getting my wife a QOM on that sprint. The computer read 34.6, then 35. We were absolutely smoking it. The power started waning a few seconds from the finish – we’d both spent everything we had but took the City Limits sign with a fair lead.
The rest of the ride home was a blast and we pulled into driveway with a 17.5-mph average (or something close to that).
With a lot to do before the big event of the afternoon, I didn’t even look at my ride until Mike K commented on it, congratulating us on the KOM. Once I saw that comment, I looked at my wife’s ride and she secured the QOM as well, but Strava had her a full three seconds behind me. Put into perspective, three seconds back of me would mean our tandem would have had to have been 120 feet (a little less than 40 meters) long, at that speed. Something wasn’t right in Denmark… Jess will be contacting Strava Monday morning (interestingly, her PR showed the proper 50 seconds while her QOM showed 53 for yesterday’s sprint).
My wife and I spent the next couple of hours getting the last of the things we needed for the small party after we renewed our vows in front of a few family members and our kids, with Jonathan officiating.
It was amazing. Best day ever.