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This year is a distinct departure from the last eleven. In an effort to be a better husband to my wife, I’ve let go of my need/desire (take your pick) to be an aggressively fast cyclist. This change in heart has been a long time in coming and, while my previous choices didn’t make me a “bad” husband/father, looking back I don’t think there’s any question I was selfish and self-centered. Now, you may wonder how this runs into golf. Well, I used to golf. A lot. I could regularly shoot in the 70s for 18 holes and would even manage par or one under fairly consistently on moderate to easy courses. I can still remember the first round I beat my dad (who spent double the time I did on a golf course and could kick my butt with fairways and greens). Then Alzheimer’s and what they call alcoholic “wet brain” at the same time for my dad. I met up with my dad every Friday for years for a Friday afternoon round of golf. We’d play 18, then get some lunch or dinner. Then I’d head home to my wife and kids. Speaking of kids, after our first was born, golf took a back seat. Practice four days a week with two rounds a week turned into one practice day and a round or two a week. My dad started breaking down in 2013 and we moved him to a home so he could be looked after. Our Friday golf outing dwindled from 18 holes to 14, to 9… and when my dad started teeing up the ball at me, I pulled the plug and stopped taking him.
Shortly after my dad died, I quit golf altogether. It just wasn’t the same without him and our Friday outings. I quit for a broken heart.
Well, this past spring, my daughter asked me to teach the game to her and, being the dad I am, I said I would. I had to find a way to get my heart back into it, though. I took my dad’s set of Callaway Big Bertha Irons in and had the shafts lengthened and re-gripped and I had a second set of my dad’s clubs regripped for my daughter. With my dad’s spirit in my golf bag, I started practicing again at the local driving range about five miles from my house. I’ve played four rounds in the last, call it five weeks, and I almost feel like my old self. When I get a hold of a drive, I’m hitting 270 to 280 yards (247 to 256 meters) and am starting to get quite proficient with my short irons (my 5 and 6 still need some work). Not bad for a 52-year-old who hasn’t swung a club in eight years.
So, uncharacteristically, twice last week I chose golf, or practice over riding. Once to take my daughter to the range, Wednesday, and once Friday for an invite to a supplier’s golf outing.
I played well, Friday – a four man best-ball scramble. I one-putted for holes to keep our team even or drop a shot – all over 20′ with the longest at least 40′ (12 meters) and hit several fantastic drives, as well as a few good iron shots. I started really getting warmed up in the middle holes, call it six to fourteen before sputtering out because I was hungry.
In that eight hole stretch I felt like the old me again, and it was good.
Saturday, it was time for a rowdy ride on the tandem with my lovely wife – my (new-ish) favorite mode of cycling. We did a nice 46-mile loop with an average pace over 18-mph. We were absolutely on as a couple and the ride showed it. We were laughing and talking and had two long pulls in excess of 16-miles, one dead into a high single-digit headwind. I love it when we’re on like that. The rest of the day was a special celebration for my wife that I need not get into here, but I will say it was a lovely day.
Today will be more of the same – tandemonium, yet again, followed by yard work and some flower planting and yardwork.
Sunrise Adventure in Alpena, Michigan; One Amazing Tour (Especially for Tandems and New Tandem Couples)
My wife and I completed our first ever tandem tour just last weekend up in Alpena, Michigan with the League of Michigan Bicyclists.
Now, this is going to be a fairly biased review for several reasons, but for one, because I spent a good deal of my summers as a young boy in Alpena staying with my grandmother. There’s a special cedar smell to Alpena that’s stayed with me all these years… One smell and I’m transported back to being a carefree kid. Combine that with that it was my first tandem tour with my wife, and we spent a good deal of the weekend helping out with logistics and registration. That said, for the scenery and immaculate roads (they were absolutely fantastic) the 2022 Sunrise Adventure was the most enjoyable of all the tours I’ve ever ridden for a multitude of reasons.
For the sake of this post, I’ll stick to the tour itself. This tour is hub-and-spoke, meaning you’re at a “home base” at a hotel (or other rental property – not included in the cost of the tour itself) and you radiate out on three different routes for each of the riding days (Friday, Saturday and Sunday).
Registration is on Thursday afternoon just before the tour kicks off with a rider’s meeting and a wonderful spread of wine and snacks (I, obviously, skipped the wine). We’re not talking about your normal granola bar snacks here. This was a full cracker, cheese and sausage spread from a catering company.
Day One’s route is beautiful and scenic.
Day Two is the most beautiful route I’ve ever ridden (and that includes the Tunnel of Trees route outside of Harbor Springs on Day Four of DALMAC) that ends at the Presque Isle Old Lighthouse where you can ascend the 130 stairs that take you up ten stories to look out over the whole point. The view is absolutely amazing.
Day Three’s route is through farm country and is absolutely picturesque.
There are three routes for each day, a long (usually around 100k), a medium (around 40-miles) and a short (in the 20-mile range), though Sunday is shorter to give everyone a chance to finish and head home.
This little adventure gets better, too. Everything starts in downtown Alpena, so you’ve got shops and fantastic restaurant choices everywhere you look. Most of the local restaurants are amazing, or at least we had that on authority from a few locals we spoke with. Thursday, after we volunteered to help with registration, we ate at Red Brick, which was billed as upscale comfort food. Fabulous is a good word. Try the loaded tater-tots. You can thank me later. My wife and I had lunch after the ride on Day 1 at a place called Fresh Palate – an almond encrusted white fish filet sandwich that was simply amazing. For dinner we ate at Pompeyos Mexican Grill on South State Avenue… which was outstanding and… erm, massive. We ate Pompeyos leftovers for lunch on Day 2, then had a nice dinner with the other riders at the NOAA Maritime Museum that was quite wonderful. Sadly, for the first time in recent memory, we were scheduled for the glass-bottom boat tour out of the museum but that had to be canceled for a small craft advisory due to high winds the first two of the three days. The point is, though, unlike some tours, the Sunrise Adventure has a veritable ton to do off the bike.
Finally, this is a laid back tour. I didn’t see one hammer up there, other than my wife and I. There were a couple of guys who were close (and there were definitely a few high-priced carbon road rigs on display), but for the most part the courses seem to be set up for an enjoyable cycling experience where you could take your time and take everything in. The routes were short to reasonable at 20-ish miles to around 100k (three routes per day – short in the 20-mile range, medium in the low 40s, and long approaching 100k) and weren’t too challenging with gentle, rolling hills. My wife and I, on the tandem, stuck with the medium routes and they were fantastic and only used the granny gear a time or two (52-42-30 front, 11-25 cassette). We’ll have to see what happens next year, whether we’re going to bother with the 100k routes on the new tandem, but I doubt it. With the amount of time we put into volunteering, I just don’t see us bothering with the longer routes. In fact, with how things went, I’d say the 40-ish mile routes were perfect.
I’ll wrap up this post with this; League of Michigan Bicyclist tours are not cheap. What you get for your money, though, is an experience unlike most planned out tours in places that are truly worth visiting. If I had to liken LMB tours to something else, they’d be like a cruise. You spend time on the boat (bike), bouncing from excursion to excursion… and the Sunrise Adventure is a fantastic example that shouldn’t be missed – especially if you’re new to tours (we’re – my wife and I are talking about working with Neal, the tour director, on building workshops centered around the new riders and making the most of their first tours) so the Sunrise can be a safe entry into cycling tours – more on that later).
You can see by the smiles in the photos above, the Sunrise Adventure in Alpena, Michigan is as good as they get.
The Noob’s Guide to Riding Tandem Bicycles with One’s Spouse: How to NOT Kill Each Other (Or Wish for the Other’s Death) Before, During or After A Bike Ride.
My buddy, Mike, likes to say that a tandem is a marriage maker or a marriage breaker. This post will cover how my wife and I made riding tandem the former.
The person up front, the stronger rider is the captain. The person in the back is the stoker*.
Rule Number ONE: The stoker never makes mistakes. Ever. Was ever thus.
*Rule Number TWO: My stoker isn’t referred to as “a stoker”, even though I just wrote that the person in the back is “the stoker”. The stoker is really your Rear Admiral. My wife coined this just a few weeks ago and it shall stick. Because it is awesome. If I keep that perspective, I’m the captain and my wife is the rear admiral, that’s just about the patience humility needed to have the most enjoyable experience one can imagine on a tandem.
This is why my wife and I are awesome on a tandem. We compliment each other. And it was not easy getting here.
Beyond the BS on tandem riding, if you want to not only survive riding a tandem with your spouse, but love it, there are a few things I can pass along that will be helpful. Oh, and it took about two years of regular tandem riding to get here. See if you can do better.
- Get your spouse a Garmin so they can see how fast you’re going, too. They’ll be able to see if you’re slowing down and how that relates to their pedaling. This trick saved me massive headaches.
- Lower your expectations if you’re normally fast on a single bike. Tandems are about 30% more effort than a single bike and it takes effort to work together; more “want to” than you’ll likely think at first. My wife and I are quite fast on single bikes. I’m a 21 to 23-mph average while my wife is comfortable between 18 & 21. When we ride tandem, we can be anywhere from 16 to 20-mph depending on the ride. We did our first tour last week and we didn’t get above 17-mph for an average over the three days and I could not have possibly cared less… because, Number 3.
- Love your spouse like there’s no tomorrow. My wife and I do better the more we love and care for each other off the bike. I’ll make this simple; if you’re prone to fight and get upset if you feel the other isn’t performing up to your expectations, you’re too self-centered. Stop it. Trust me, I know how this works. It isn’t them, it’s you. Cut it out.
- Communicate. When your Rear Admiral pushes through a nice climb, tell them so. When your captain negotiates a challenging situation, let them know. My wife and I developed a series of non-verbal communications on the bike, too. I’ll rub her arm or wrist to let her know I love her. She’ll rub my right butt cheek to do the same. She rides with her hands on my back to signify playful happiness. I extend my left fist back for some knuckles when she powers us through a hill or a turn… and when my wife wants a QOM, she gives a gentle smack on the butt to get me moving.
- Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
- REMEMBER THAT WHICH IS MOST IMPORTANT!!! When it’s all said and done, love each other. If you want to ride well on a tandem, that starts off the bike. My wife and I have more fun riding tandem than should be allowed… because we care for each other immensely. The better we are off the bike, the more fun we have on it.
All of these points are important, but that last one is serious. My wife and I sleep so closely at night, you can’t slip a piece of paper between us. For me, the sun rises and sets on her and my wife treats me the same way. It wasn’t always like that – and that was reflected in how we rode on the tandem. In the end, and this is off the bike, I decided to just worry about “cleaning my side of the street”… and when I thought my street was clean, I asked God to show me if there was any dirt that needed tending to. What my eyes were opened to was shocking… and I went to work, cleaning that up. And we went from an occasional tandem riding couple to “I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be on a bicycle than being the Captain for my Rear Admiral”. We’re regularly moved to tears of joy with how much fun we have together on our tandem. And that’s how we know we’re doing it right.
If you want to ride tandem with your spouse, remember this: sometimes you want to throw them like a lawn dart, but you just have to love ’em. Do this and you can’t go wrong.
This post is for my most amazing wife. I love you, Jessica. There’s no place I’d rather be than on a tandem with you. You are my Sunshine.
I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on in the coming days so I’m going to fit posts in where I can. I’ve got detailed posts working on a lot of fun and exciting stuff from our weekend at the Sunrise Adventure Tour with the League of Michigan Bicyclists. This was the best tour I’ve ever ridden in terms of stunning scenery and excellent roads. The roads were even better than down in Kentucky.
For now, I’ll leave you with some of the highlights from the trip…
And yes, my wife and I matched each day. And it was awesome! As you can gather from the smiles in the photos, my wife and I have found peace, happiness and serenity on a tandem. We won’t give up our individuality on our singles, but we have come to shine on our Co-Motion. At my request, my wife refers to me as “Oh Captain, my Captain”… and at hers, my wife has come up with and lived up to being my “Rear Admiral”.
More tales from the tandem soon.
I apologize for not posting for the last few days. My lovely wife and I are on a cycling adventure – our first on our tandem and it could not possibly be going better. I’ll save the mushy stuff for another post, but suffice it to say, we lead very busy lives and it’s often difficult to find each other in the din to reconnect.
We’re making up for all of that on this trip. It’s been delightful.
Mrs. Bgddy chose to ride with me on the tandem for Tuesday night. I was looking forward to it all day long, I won’t lie.
I got in the car to head home from the office and I put on a playlist my wife made years ago for us of love songs that make her think of us. It’s a hundred-eight songs long… and that’s precisely when I realized what a buffoon I can be. That woman loves me so much she put together a playlist of songs that remind her of us… and it’s 108 songs-long. And so I drove home listening to that playlist with a smile on my face.
My wife was working when I got home, so I went straight to prepping for the evening. Summer hit yesterday, so it was good and sticky outside. We rolled out for the church precisely at 5:15 and got there with plenty of time to get ready but not much time to warm up our legs.
We had a few conversations in the parking lot and readied to move out with just a minute to spare. The A Elite group rolled out. We waited a few seconds and headed out ourselves, with a crew of five on single bikes. We had a good amount of tailwind the first ten miles and quickly worked up a 20+ mph average. It took a few miles for my wife and I to synch up but once we did, it was magic as usual. We’ve really come in to our own on the tandem this year.
We made our way through the course taking an easy shortcut that kept us from having to cross a major road that’s always busy with 55-mph+ traffic. It also pops us in front of the A Group… that caught us back up just before the hills. At some point in the hills, we heard a pop behind us but nobody said anything so we just kept rolling. It had happened that Dave had a blowout and three of the group stopped to fix it. We didn’t even know until we got to the regroup spot and the others never came over the hill.
We decided to roll for home, figuring those who stopped would be able to handle the repairs and wouldn’t want us waiting around in the heat.
And so we did… and after a mile and a half, our five cyclist/four bike group shattered. Matt went one way, Lenny went off the back when we accelerated to 33-mph down a slight downhill into Vernon… all of a sudden, Jess and I were alone.
And we didn’t miss the opportunity to take it easy the rest of the way back. We laughed and talked and made plans for the future… it was a perfect ride in, even if we had a brutal crossing headwind for five of the last six miles.
Ordering that new tandem seems like a smarter decision every day. We’re both looking forward to riding the wheels off it. Both sets of wheels.
My buddy, Chuck and I, if Monday isn’t a day off (and it frequently is for me), roll out for one of the slower rolls of the week. It’s a rarity when we top 17-mph for an average. With the Tuesday Night Club Ride right around the corner, there’s no reason to do anything but take it easy. In fact, to try anything more would be detrimental to the hammer-fest to come.
And so it was last night.
We started out with an easy pace and pretty much kept it there most of the ride. The weather was quite glorious, with warmth, sunshine and some wispy cirrus clouds stretched across the upper reaches of the atmosphere.
We talked about Chuck 4×4’ing with his family up north and Jess and my ceremony over the weekend. We caught up and had a few good laughs before turning one final time on Hill Road, heading east… and the pace quickened as we took it to the barn in the last five miles.
There’s something about that homestretch that neither one of us can stay off the gas.
We rolled into the driveway with 22-ish miles and I had an easy sense of “everything is okay”. Dinner with my wife and daughter was fantastic (BLT sammiches with cheese, mayo, onion and a fried egg – try it, you’ll love it). Then my wife and I took ten minutes to sit in the backyard on the swing to reconnect after our hectic day. Folks, taking five or ten minutes to reconnect with my wife after a busy day is something we’ve never done but has turned out to be exceptionally wonderful. We cleared up a few miscommunications that all had benign origins as we held hands, swinging and looking at the wildlife in our yard. Squirrels, a rabbit, several species of birds (including a male cardinal and some sexy, sexy time redwing blackbirds). I also had a couple of realizations pop up that surprised me, but more of that in another post. The simplest, I can let you in on; love is grand.
What a wonderful world.
A buddy asked me out golfing the other day and after talking it over with my lovely wife, it was decided I should go… and I was glad I did. I shot a (well, an almost) legit 80 – a five over 42 on the front and a 3 over 38 on the back.
It was a stellar day on the course.
Afterward, my wife had a graduation ceremony to attend to that didn’t require me so, with my eldest asleep and my youngest at work, I took my Venge out and hit the asphalt for a slightly quick 35-1/2 miler on the what we call “the Deer Loop”. I had some things to work out in my head and the ride was perfect for that. It’s amazing to me how a good ride can clear out the mental clutter.
Well, the mental clutter clears until you start getting tired. At that point, cycling brain takes over and good luck remembering your best friend’s name… but I digress.
Later that afternoon, my wife called for “Family Time” and suggested putt-putt golf. Originally, we’d planned on a nice dinner and a few episodes of Castle together, but I love the four of us playing putt-putt. It’s always a blast, and with the girls getting older, God only knows how many games we have.
Next, we went out to dinner at our favorite burger joint before heading home. Friends, I won’t lie, I was dead tired… and so was my wife.
Let’s just say there were fireworks at bedtime in my humble abode. In fact, our first real argument in months. Unlike previous fights, though, we got it sorted… and the right way.
So, when you’re renewing your vows, what’s the best way to start that day? A ride on the tandem, of course!
We rolled out with a few friends and our sights on an easy pace and a fun ride on the tandem. We took it easy with the light breeze of a headwind… well, really, we just took it easy and had a nice time of it. I think we had a 17.1-mph average when we hit the rollers down into Durand – a four mile stretch with a negative grade that is absolute joy on a tandem. We started as soon as we crested the last little climb and put the power to the pedals. We hammered out the first couple of miles at and above 30-mph and then waited for everyone to catch up. Mike K and Phill caught us and passed us while we were waiting on Mike A and Ukulele Dave and we could hear Phill working Mike up for the sprint into Durand. “You going to go for it?” Mike replied in the negative, saying he doubted he could match is previous KOM time. As we neared the sign, though, Phill started cranking it up. Mike was second and we were third – and my wife wanted to take them down. When Phill surged, we matched it and held Mike’s wheel. We did the same again when Phill tapped out and Mike surged. I thought for sure we were going to lose his wheel but my stoker wife was on it with a vengeance. We held Mike’s wheel for a goodly bit and then, on a slight downhill, we hit the gas and went around him. We started way too soon but there was no way I wasn’t getting my wife a QOM on that sprint. The computer read 34.6, then 35. We were absolutely smoking it. The power started waning a few seconds from the finish – we’d both spent everything we had but took the City Limits sign with a fair lead.
The rest of the ride home was a blast and we pulled into driveway with a 17.5-mph average (or something close to that).
With a lot to do before the big event of the afternoon, I didn’t even look at my ride until Mike K commented on it, congratulating us on the KOM. Once I saw that comment, I looked at my wife’s ride and she secured the QOM as well, but Strava had her a full three seconds behind me. Put into perspective, three seconds back of me would mean our tandem would have had to have been 120 feet (a little less than 40 meters) long, at that speed. Something wasn’t right in Denmark… Jess will be contacting Strava Monday morning (interestingly, her PR showed the proper 50 seconds while her QOM showed 53 for yesterday’s sprint).
My wife and I spent the next couple of hours getting the last of the things we needed for the small party after we renewed our vows in front of a few family members and our kids, with Jonathan officiating.
It was amazing. Best day ever.
“A tandem bicycle is a marriage maker… or a marriage breaker”. Doc Mike – 2017
My wife and I have been through some struggles in our marriage. I haven’t written about many of them here until after we found solutions. I don’t do whining and complaining. We have found a solution to our problems, though. We’ve found a way to love each other so thoroughly and completely that my heart actually skips a beat when I see her. It’s a beautiful thing.
We started riding the tandem more regularly during the pandemic. Why not?! Technically, even though our police would never have enforced it (we asked, the official answer was “no way in hell”, we later tested that answer and it held), we were only supposed to ride with members of our immediate family. Well, why not on the tandem?
We learned to ride that bike together – one of the rare, pure instances where we had to learn to work as a team in our marriage. We tried the other way. Or, maybe I should say I tried the other way and my wife let me bash my head against that rock. I used to pedal through my wife something fierce. If she was laying down 100 watts, I was pushing 300. I’d, predictably, run out of gas after about 25 miles and would become agitated. I’d get snippy with my wife and she’d just sit back there doing her thing and let me struggle.
Then, we started communicating. I mean really talking about stuff when we began “Sunday Fundays”. Sunday Funday became a way of saying, “Hey, we’re going to take it easy and shoot for an average pace between 17 & 18-mph” and it was awesome. At that pace, I could relax a little bit and go with the flow. I learned to stop pedaling through my wife and to work with her. She helped a ton on the hills and we cemented ourselves as a tandem couple over the last four months of this year (2022). We developed a way of communicating on the bike that made riding enjoyable for both of us. It’s been so good, we actually choose the tandem over the single bikes on other days of the week. We’ve even had the tandem out on Tuesday night.
We’ve become so much a tandem couple, we decided to make a change with our bike as well. For our Silver Anniversary, we ordered a 2022 Co-Motion Kalapuya Tandem gravel bike with an extra set of Rolf Prima road wheels so we can instantly switch between road and gravel. It’s Co-Motion’s second to the top of the line; only the Macchiato is higher in their order – but the Macchiato is a pure road bike. We wanted something we could take anywhere. Our tandem will be custom fit and silver (for our anniversary), with black on black decals and our wedding date on the top tube. It’s going to have mechanical Ultegra shifting with top of the line disc brakes… and it’ll be my Venge lighter than our current tandem (for which we’ve already found a new home). It’s going to have a Gates synchronizing belt and a 50/34 double with an 11-40 cassette. In other words, that thing will climb like a goat.
We bought our Co-Motion Periscope as a family bike but now that my kids are grown and they don’t like riding… and as much as my wife and I ride tandem now, the new rig only made sense – and it’s the perfect 25th Anniversary gift for the two of us.
Unfortunately, this story isn’t without its sad side. Brent, buddy, I’m sorry, pal. No fat bikes this year. As I’m sure you can see, though, the new tandem is the best fit for us.
Oh, and ours will have a flat captain’s stem and will be a little more slammed at the front end… obviously.