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US-FTC/Federal First Amendment Requirements

I read on another Blog that we US Bloggers have to, according to the FTC, inform our readership as to whether or not we make money on our blog or whether we receive free stuff to review.

1.  I haven’t reviewed anything that I didn’t pay for.  I also don’t get paid to write this blog.  If someone is cool enough to send me something free to review, I’ll review it effusively unless it sucks.  In any event, if said free stuff is received and reviewed, mention will be made on the post that it was free.  If no mention is made, I bought it…  Probably from Assenmacher’s or Bauman’s – my two favorite local shops for riding and running respectively.  Neither of which compensated me in any way for all of the times I link to them – unless you consider “good service” payment (but they do that for everyone they can) I do consider that awesome, but I don’t think the Feds consider it “payment”.

2.  Under the celebrity endorser part of the guidelines (which were thankfully voted on 4-0 by people that We The People didn’t elect – show me that in the Constitution please):  Though I like to occasionally think of myself as something of a star, I’m not, therefore this wouldn’t apply to me.

3.  I find the fact that I actually had to go through this exercise, in The United States of America, funny as hell.  Whatever.

First Amendment Disclaimer:

I apologize profusely in advance if anyone is offended by this blog.  While it’s sad that someone you don’t even know can hurt your feelings by writing a self help blog, Big Daddy Jim in no way endorses nor opposes the above statement (the first one in the disclaimer, not the FTC one for Pete’s sake). In the event of a tornado, hurricane, blizzard, hail storm, plague, influenza pandemic, high wind advisory, tremendous thunderstorm, tsunami, typhoon, fire, sun spots, radiation leak, or other cataclysmic event, problems may occur that I will be ill prepared for. After saving the lives of my family and myself, the needs of my blog buddies and followers will be handled immediately if not sooner. No animals, plants, kelp, coral reefs, plankton, or amoebae were harmed in the making of this blog. Nor did any deposition of chemicals into our water supply or any other ecological system occur. No meat was used in the making of this blog (unless you count the steak I ate last night for dinner, or the chicken nuggets and fish-o-filet I ate for lunch, but I promise, I feel real, real bad about it…). The earth was not warmed in the creation of this blog, although, because global warming has been debunked, over and over and over again, forty years after global cooling was debunked, it’s now called global climate change… So the climate was not changed in the creation of this blog. The building of a strip mall was not agreed to in this blog. A big box store than rhymes with Small Fart was not shopped at to create this blog. Starbucks coffee was not used in the creation of this blog (it was more than likely out of my system before I started typing). Michael Moore is a buffoon and wasn’t harmed in the making of this blog, except that I referred to him as a buffoon, but that’s protected political speech, so nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah, nyah. Torture was not used in the delivery of this blog, although, if you’ve read this far, the statement may or may not be debatable.

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8 Comments

  1. I can’t believe I hadn’t read your disclaimer before! Awesome!

    • bgddyjim says:

      Thanks man… I wrote that about 10 years ago and used it as the disclaimer for my professional email, but I’d shrink the font down to 1.5, too small to read. 😉

  2. Rat Catcher says:

    heh. I’m totally not gonna do this on my blog but I thought yours funny.

  3. This was HILARIOUS!!! Great post. Keep up the great work.

  4. unironedman says:

    Love it. Though of course the earth was warmed just a tiny weeny bit. In the sense of all those fans pumping out warm air into a web farm somewhere in Boise, Idaho. We use that geographical reference in Europe as it’s the only other place we know in America apart from New York and LA. And maybe Texas. But I sense the warmth was less than the gentle heat generated from the wicked sense of humour, so, on balance, I’d say the sea level is about the same following this post, and we are all safe. For now. 😉

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