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Manscaping – It’s Society’s FAULT!!! And a Weekend Preview

April 2012
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Ah, I was looking for something fun to write about!  Edith over at mymultipersonality noticed something funny that I am about to distort in an unnatural way that will shed light on one of the most egregious ills of society:

…This was a well-built man in spandex on a nice bike so I will admit, unapologetically, to checking him. But there was something about him that struck me as odd and I could not, for the life of me, put my finger on it at first.

It was just evident that there was SOMETHING OFF ABOUT THIS MALE CYCLIST.

And it was really starting to bug me that I couldn’t figure out what it was.

And then, right before the light changed, it hit me: he was hairy”.

I’m going to try as hard as I can to feign justifiable indignation at the notion that a well built male cyclist should commence with the arduous task of a full manscaping regimen to satisfy society’s expectation of a clean crisp muscular man with skin as supple as a woman’s.  It ‘s the radical feminization of the male cyclist!  We need men’s rights groups, political lobbies!  What’s next, a move to make men sit whilst they pee?!  Someone call out the national guard, we need sanctions!  Where’s the UN when you need it?  IT’S A GENDER WAR!  For the love of God and all that is Holy, where did this war against men begin, we need at least a half a trillion dollars committed to studies!  We must band together to stop this assault on manhood – and HAIR.  After all, who could be against HAIRMy God, I may faint…  I think I could suffer a nervous breakdown, where’s my Social Security Rep?  I think I’m disabled by the need to have my hair removed with a laser and I can’t afford it (Oh no, don’t laugh, I know a girl on disability because she’s too torn up to work because she wants to get a lot of plastic surgery done and can’t afford it – I kid you not)!  Where’s my handout?  I want my bailout!  I’M A VICTIM, hear me WHINE!

Of course, I manscape considerably, so there’s that…  Oh, and I think the same thing when I see a hairy guy on a bike too – so there’s that.  Oh well.

The important note on the egregious ill:  The biggest problem with politics is that people actually take political battles seriously – politicians don’t, why should we?  One thing is for certain – when a politician opens his mouth, you’re about to get at least half of the story.

In other news:

Sixteen days to go to my first Metric Century, I’m finally starting to get fired up, and to support the treatment center that gave me the break I needed to finally plug the jug is all the better.  That said, I think my goal of 3-1/2 hours is really aggressive but doable – of course, that’s assuming I’m not able to ride in a group and draft.

This weekend is going to be a little choppy – after taking two days off at the beginning of the week, I’ve been able to get back to it with a 20 mile ride on Wednesday and a 16 miler yesterday.  Rather than ride long tomorrow, I’ll be trying to shoe in a 35.5 mile ride today because I’ve got the kids tomorrow morning so I’ll have to drive down to the running club.  I’ll be running farther than usual and I’ll get in a shorter ride in between thunderstorms in the forecast (though we’ve got some moderate temps in store as well) after my wife gets back from her appointments.  Sunday will be open to an extent, I really don’t know what I’ll be in the mood for, but it’ll at least be 16 which will get me well over my weekly goal of 100 miles.

As far as my challenges go, thankfully my one day funk hasn’t cost me.  In the cycling challenge, I’m at 684 of 12,960 and for the calorie challenge I’m at 1,556 of 19, 783 and I’ll be moving up after today’s ride.

As far as my bike goes, the more I ride it, the more I like it…  It’s fantastic on rough pavement, the wheels are still as true as the day I brought it home (after a couple of “focus is elsewhere” pot holes at 18-22 mph) and I can’t get over how smooth it rides and my new saddle is aces so my butt’s not sore after a long ride.

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5 Comments

  1. rchackman says:

    haha. I loved the bit on manscaping ! too funny.

  2. vegastrigirl says:

    Manscaping is just the right thing to do… Women appreciate it. And it think it makes you more aero 😉

  3. Anita Mac says:

    Love the Manscaping story – couldn’t agree more! We always say – if he has hairy wheels, stay off his wheel! Safe riding 101!!!

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