Oh, how certain was I that I could drink like a normal fella if I just gave it a little effort. I then proceeded to try everything I could think of to do that. Let’s just say it didn’t turn out well. The one good thing to come out of it all was that I gained the knowledge that, unlike most of the population, I am irrevocably a pickle and I will never be a cucumber again.
Many will wonder why I stick to this belief. After all, it’s been twenty-eight years since the last time I’ve been drunk or high. Surely I must have had some mental shift that would rectify whatever it was that was wrong with me, right?
My friends, Einstein once said that problems can’t be solved with the same thinking that created them. Going back to drinking would be like trying to solve a problem that was already correctly solved, but with the thinking that created the problem to begin with.
Think about this a minute. I have performed, in the last twenty-eight years, the perfect reverse country song. I have everything I could possibly hope for after a quick traipse through hell as a youngster. I’ve got a fantastic family, a loving wife, a tremendous relationship with my daughters, I make a good living, I’ve got a roof over our heads, cars, toys, and my health… the only thing I changed for a “Get Out Of Hell Free” card was I quit drinking and I worked twelve steps. Repeatedly. Until I got good at them.
Now, what kind of knucklehead would, after twenty-eight years of winning, say, “Hey, maybe it’d be a good idea to try drinking again”?
Like I said, that’s even beyond Einstein… that’s “let’s try to fix that which isn’t broken with thinking that is”. I don’t need to entertain that today, and for that I am grateful. I will keep coming back.