I’ve come a long way since the days I was scrounging around for enough change to get drunk for the night. I’ve come a long way since almost going out Jimi Hendrix style. Since picking out which pillar I’d crash my car into. Since running out of options.
You couldn’t say I’ve done recovery perfectly, but I don’t think anyone would be so arrogant as to say, “Yeah! Nailed it!” Those are the people who usually end up drunk a few weeks later and in a ditch a few months after that, wondering what just happened.
As a thought experiment, I like to contemplate what it would be like if I did die tomorrow. Heck, today. Would I be ready to meet my maker? Would I have resentments that I didn’t properly take care of? Or would I lay there, as the light faded and think, “You know what, I’m okay. I did well with the gift of my sobriety. I lived a happy, fun, free life and I did my best to pass on what I was so freely given, to make a difference in other addicts’ and alcoholics’ lives… let’s see what’s next.”
And it’s with that last thought that I try to live my life. I do a fair job of cocking it up from time to time, but I keep giving it my best, hoping I’ll earn a place on the right side of the Pearly Gates.
Now, here’s how I use that thought experiment for good: I like to try looking at my life from the perspective of a spectator. How am I handling the relationships in my life? How do I interact with my wife and kids, with family, with my neighbors, the men I sponsor, with friends (blog and in person) and acquaintances? Am I doing my part to attract rather than promote? Am I that sad fella standing on a hill with his trumpet, hoping someone notices how awesome I am? Am I living the best life I can?
There’s always room for improvement, but I like how I’m doing so far – and I’ll keep working at that room for improvement. One day at a time.
Recover hard, my friends. There are no “do overs”… only “cleanup on aisle seven”.
Fit Recovery 
When I first read your title, I thought, Yeah, I’d be okay. I’d welcome it, but then I read the questions you posed and leaving now would mean some of those would go undone.
I guess there’s reflection for improvement for all of us. Have a Merry Christmas and may the new year continue to bless you!!
Thank you, and same to you and yours for Christmas.
I love kicking that around…
I ponder this quite often. It freaks my daughter out because I talk about my funeral and tell her, “I want a ton of people there.” Every day I wake up sober is like a gift to be shared with others. I’m satisfied with my life up to this point, but I also feel God’s not done yet. There’s more to come and I want to be sober during the rest of the journey.
I don’t care if anyone is at my funeral (though lots would be great). If one of the guys I sponsor passes on one of my favorite sayings and it helps that kid stay sober, that’ll be good enough. Don’t freak out your daughter, though! Tell her you’ll be around till she’s old and gray. 😉
Maybe it’s a girl thing, but I think about funerals in the same way most think of weddings and what they want it to be. My daughter knows I want to be cremated and sprinkled along the beach, but the main reason I want people to show up is for my daughter. To tell her what I said or did that made a difference in their lives. A funeral is a celebration of a life well lived. 😊
10-4. I like it!
May your sponsees pull from your wisdom for many years to come.
Or pull from my mistakes, which is more likely the case! 😂
That’s where we gain wisdom. 🤩
I don’t know. Would I even be able to understand that I had passed?
We’ll find out soon enough. Nobody gets out alive.
My dad knew he was going. Unquestionably. And he was ready.
Absolutely not, still got many more kilometres to ride!
Good answer! Ha!
🚴